asylum [kai parker] editing/rewriting

Thirty-Three

(song for the chapter is attached. it's called my immortal)

S I M O N E
Malachai Parker is dead.

I'm not sure if I should be grateful, because I definitely don't feel grateful. I don't feel happy that I'm saved. I feel guilty knowing that Kai chose himself to die instead of killing both Nick, and Dad.

His body was never found, but he's dead. Nick made sure of that.

The police checked the woods and found blood. They made it seem like they found a body, when they really didn't. But the amount of blood they'd found allowed them to call it.

There's a funeral. Just a small one, with an empty casket. It's only a funeral to calm the citizens of America and let them know he's dead. Everyone that will show up will only be there to rejoice.

But not me.

Of corse, I couldn't tell my father that. And I can't even talk to Nick. The image of the two of them unlocking the car and pulling out my curled up body is still fresh in my mind. I was crying then, and I feel like crying now. Nick figured my tears were ones of happiness that I'd finally been found. Both of them wish I was still the same Simone that they lost. I'm not, and I never will be that Simone again.

It's been two days since I was with him, and each day since then has been hell. The state wants me in court, accusing me of assisting several murders. Dad has been doing his best to deny them, and he's even bailed me out of jail to keep me at home. As a sheriff, he's aloud to break the rules. But I know the state is right. Sooner or later I'll be right back in the interrogation room with Nick.

The one who pulled the trigger.

I haven't spoken a word to anyone, aside from answering a few questions here and there. They believe it's post traumatic stress or something, but they don't realize my loss. The only person I could connect with is dead, somewhere in the woods.

I like to believe he's dead over the alternative. It's possible magic could work, though he never explained it to me. But the amount of blood they found was surprising.

So instead of holding on to the hope I decided to abandon everything.

"Simone?" There's a knock on the door and I immediately recognize the voice. Nick.

"Y-yeah?" I furrow my brow, pulling my knees up to my chest so I'm able to curl into a small ball.

"The burial's starting tonight at four. Your father told me that you should start getting ready."

Oh right. The burial that the whole town's attending. Just so they can smile and dance on his grave. I have to go. There's no other choice, I need to pay my respects to the man who showed me a whole different world outside my own. "Okay."

Walking over to my suitcase, I unzip it. Dad wanted to throw it away. He even claimed that it would remind me of bad memories. But I need to hold onto something sentimental.

I know exactly what I'm doing as I'm opening it. My fingers push the tattered clothing around as I fish for the one thing that matters, the one thing I wanted to keep.

Thoughts come rushing back as I grab ahold of the dress. It's still beautiful, and I wouldn't want to wear any other dress to his funeral.

It's the dress he got me.

The fabric is still as soft, the colors are still as vibrant, and the memories that come with it are all too clear.

The dress fits perfectly once it's on. I struggle to suppress the memories when I look at myself in the mirror. But there's no use, they still come. Tears threaten to spill, but I wipe them away before they come.