ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡
ﾟ。Break my back not my heart
ﾟ･｡･
- Star
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I think: This is what I will miss. I think: I will kill myself rather than miss it. I think: How long do we have?
- Madeline Miller (The Song Of Achilles)
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If I told you that I spoke to Min after that day, I would be lying to you.
If I explained that 17 year-old me was worried about time, that would have been fabricated.
Junior year was at its end almost as quick as it started, and it was now prom.
Diet Mountain Dew by Lana Del Rey filled my room as I adjusted my black turtleneck in the mirror.
Diet Mountain Dew, baby, New York City.
I slid my arms into a raven-colored blazer. I was ready to go; draped in black from head to toe, I absorbed any color around me like a piece of onyx, which made my gold eyes stick out like a sore thumb.
Never was there ever a girl so pretty.
I was ready to go, but I just stood there and stared. I hadn't noticed how much older I looked compared to the beginning of the school year. I could tell I gained a bit more muscle by the way the fabric of the turtle neck stretched across my chest. You could see my blue veins traveling up from my wrists to my elbows. I had to stand further away from my mirror to see my full body because I had gained some height. My voice as definitely deeper than most. Lastly, my face seemed slimmer, my jaw more defined, sharp.
Do you think you'll be in love forever?
For a flash of a second, I pictured Min standing right next to me, his clothes shining brighter against the night I was wearing, and a bright smile, and a snarky remark.
Do you think you'll be in love?
But when I realized the space right next to me was empty, and my hopes were hollow, I turned my speaker off and left my room.
Down the hall is where Kyomi waits for me. When she saw me, her eyes lit up in a way I've never seen before, she even smiled a bit. She pulled me into an embrace before I could reject it, then looked at me with teary eyes. "I was scared that you were going to look like dad."
We both chuckled at the fucked up family jokes between us, because we knew no body else would understand. And even if people knew the whole story, they could never comprehend why we would laugh at such a tragedy. "Then who do I look like?"
"Yourself." She simply said. "I wish mom could see you."
And then came the water works, but I blinked them away. "She's standing right in front of me." I smiled, then I hugged her again.
A small cough echoed from the corner of our living room.
"Sero, please shut the fuck up." Said Kyomi, her face still in my shoulder.
Sero tried to argue. "I didn't even say anything."
"Get the fuck out before I have your uncle deported."
Sero's body shot up. "How'd you-"
"Out. Of. My. House." Her words cut through the air like darts, even I was scared.
Sero left the house, door slamming behind him.
Kyomi and Sero never liked each other.
She broke the hug and dangled her keys in between our noses. "Take the Widow."
