Antares

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Okay so Min writes an album between the last chapter and this one so ur gonna listen to that now.

Disclaimers:
1. Use your imagination for once and pretend like Min is singing these songs.
2. I know the real artists exist in this AU, but let's just pretend that they didn't write these songs.
3. Slay.
4. If these songs have any slurs in them (cuz I don't remember) pretend like it didn't happen.
5. Slay again.
6. It's on Spotify cuz Spotify moh bettah 💪🏿

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4C8ygVEndh5NiXuX2M9o3p?si=o8GfnTxIQ3CZWAdNtNlWKQ

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"Alex wants to go to war for this man, wants to get his hands on everything and everyone that ever hurt him, but for once, he's trying to be the steady one."

- Casey McQuiston (Red, White & Royal Blue)

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The last time I had seen Hoshi Takami was the day she left me.

It was the end of my junior year of college, and the end of Hoshi's senior year, a was a week before her graduation. As everyone else in Berkeley was celebrating the end of their journey, we were hit with the reality of something that was just beginning.

Hoshi's brother, Keigo, had passed away in April, a fatal car crash that he had no chance of surviving. It was both sad and strange to see that switch go off in Hoshi's mind, a mind that I will no longer understand. As soon as she got that call, and her phone fell to the floor along with her weakened knees, I already knew what had happened. It was like all the bright color had been drained out of her system and the purpose to her very being had been stolen by grief. I don't blame her, as this would be anyone's reaction.

As we stood there, on the front lawn of C.U.M., one broken soul now split back into two, it started to rain, and Hoshi had pulled every "sorry" she could from the goddamned dictionary. I knew she felt bad, I knew her so well.

"I just can't do this." Hoshi cried. "I can't do anything without breaking down. I can see how it's affecting you. I'm just a burden."

"You were never a burden, Hoshi. You think I would've loved you for two and a half years if I thought you were a fucking burden?" I know it's only her grief talking, but damn if this conversation didn't hurt enough, the ring burning a hole in my back pocket will set me on fire only to dissipate into ash.

Was this all a mistake?

I went to reach for her hand, but she pushed it away with intentional gentleness. I looked into her green eyes, gazed upon her smooth skin and dark pink lips, trying to remember everything before she left me forever.

"I don't want to bring you down with me." She turned around fast, and walked back into the house. "I wish you the best."

That left me, still standing in the rain, my frail heart shattering with every rain drop that hits my now soulless body.

What a cruel thing to say to somebody you just ruined.

~~~

My phone rings from somewhere across my room, which wakes me up to the golden hour of sunset.

I look out my window, the nice gardens and clear sky makes me feel like puking my guts out. I want to shoot the sun and all its glory down to Hell, or maybe even better, have the sun turn me to ash where I lay. But none of these things happen, none are possible, so tears stream down my face without me having to try. My phone stops ringing, then it starts again which infuriates me. I'm ready to throw my phone against my concrete wall when I realized I had destroyed my apartment two days ago, and it was still a mess with my clothes covering the whole floor and every glass object in a million pieces on the floor. I knew I was never going to find my phone anytime soon, so I shoved my head back into my pillow and let that fucking phone ring in all its tiny glory.

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