B E T T Y | Grey's Anatomy

14

Sorry it's been 4 months.
This chapter was like therapy for me to write.

Arizona's words ring true for Betty. Amelia is safe, and for just a moment longer that she thought before, Betty starts to believe it. With her shredded arms still exposed across Amelia's lap, Betty feels particularly vulnerable, so she pulls back and covers herself with her sleeves.
Betty stares at Arizona for a moment, as if to suss the woman out, and the blonde nods reassuringly back at the teen to tell her that all was okay. Shyly, Betty pivots on the sofa and cutely shuffles over to Amelia. Her eyes remain low, only meeting Amelia's lap, but the doctor gets the message and opens her arms. Of course, Betty takes a moment to reconsider her options.

"It's okay, I don't mind," Amelia whispers, not wanting to startle the calm.
And in response to the encouragement,Betty gently lays her head on the older woman's shoulder, not quite sitting on her lap, but close enough that Amelia can envelope her daughter in her embrace. Scout mirrors the pair, bouncing onto Arizona for some hugs, having warmed up to the paediatric surgeon in no time at all. 

Lazily, Amelia's hand finds Betty's hair.

"What are we gonna do with you, hey chick?" Amelia muses.

"Kick me out?" Betty whimpers.

"You're not going anywhere chick," Amelia affirms. "You're staying right here for now. Everything else can wait."

Betty's mind reels with what 'everything else' could mean.

"Im wondering," Arizona says from the floor, "perhaps I could speak to some of my colleagues, adolescent therapists..."

"No," Betty cuts off.

"You don't have to speak to them. But maybe Amelia could. Or I could."

"I don't like therapists," Betty grumbles, and Amelia massages the girls scalp harder to soothe.

"You know," Amelia smiles, "NA is like a form of therapy. Like group therapy kind of."

"So I don't need more therapy."

"Well, it would help if you actually went to NA Betty," Amelia grumbles.

"I try."

"I know Chick, I didn't mean to sound sarky."

"Surely there's something like NA for self harm?" Asks Arizona.

Betty scowls and twists her head out of the crook of Amelia's neck.

"I don't self harm."

"Betty, you gotta admit it to yourself," says Amelia.

"I don't know," Arizona muses, unphased by the teen, and somewhat distracted by the young toddler pulling on her top. "I could ask some colleagues if they know of any programs."

"A program wouldn't work," Betty replies. "Too competitive."

"Huh?"

"This addiction... this thing... it's mine. It's my thing," Betty whimpered.  "And if I saw other people doing it... I don't know, I think it would make things worse. People cutting more often than me, deeper than me, getting more attention than me,"

Amelia cut the teen off. "There's nothing wrong with needing or wanting attention."

"I just... seeing people get more comfort, more hugs than me,"

"Hey, I can give you all the hugs you need."

Betty sighs and shifts, not with out resistance from Amelia, who wanted her girl to stay in her arms.

"Amelia, that's the problem. I am scared of hugs. I am scared of attention. I am scared of showing up and being turned away. You say you'll have me, you say you want me, and I believe you," Betty implores,  "But I am so so scared to admit it."

Amelia lets the words hang heavy. It must be the first time that Betty has opened up to her since her arrival all those weeks ago. Amelia wonders that if she had been more forceful with girl that very first day, made her come in, made her talk, made her be honest, perhaps the situation wouldn't be so serious now. Betty got comfortable being quiet. 

"Betty," Amelia says. " Something is going on deep inside that brain of yours. I am so proud of you for sharing that with me. Your honesty means so much and it will help you so much too. But there's still so much you haven't told me. There's a story behind every single cut. There's a story behind every mark and bruise your dad placed on your body"

Arizona gasps, as if she didn't already know, but somehow, having Amelia repeat it made it feel harsher in the air. 

Amelia continues to speak to the girl curled in on herself. "There are stories and feelings and tears that need to bet let out into the world. Maybe therapy would help you do that."

"No."

"Jo then. Betty I am worried."

"Why Jo?," Arizona asks. "Jo Wilson?"

By the time Jo had become an attending, Arizona was already in New York. Amelia kind of figures Jo wouldn't mind her story being shared, considering they are having a conversation with Betty. 

"She had a bit of a breakdown. Okay a colossal breakdown that ended in psych ward admission," Amelia explains, turning back to Betty.  "Betty, she's a good person to talk to. And I need and excuse to invite Link over!"

"I'm scared," Betty whimpers.

"I know."

"I'm scared for you Amelia. I am scared I am too much for you."

"Lean on me Betty," Amelia smiles.  "It's okay. I have 20 years on you sweetheart. I have my network. I have my sponsor and my sisters and my friends. I go to the meetings once a week. You are a child. It is not your responsibility to worry about me."

Betty smiles wryly, beginning to lean her head on Amelia's lap. The neurosurgeon guides Betty down, as if to give her the courage to do it. 

"Hey Betty? I've got Amelia," Arizona pipes up, with Scout once again asleep in her arms. "I promise you I will never leave her and I will support her and I will kick her on the straight and narrow if she so much as thinks about drugs. I have her. Let her have you." 

"You promise to me?" Betty whimpers. 

"I don't break promises Betty," Arizona says, Amelia agreeing with a nod.  "And even if I did, there is a village at Grey Sloan who would rally behind Amelia, and you for that matter."

Arizona, being a peds doctor, is unsurprisingly good at counselling the abused teen, Amelia thinks.

"I know you don't know me," the blonde continues. "I don't expect trust from you. But what is it going to take for you to trust Amelia?"

"I gotta trust myself," Betty says. "The worst thing that I ever could do, is hurt Amelia,"

"We hurt our loved ones all the time," Arizona smiles sadly, knowing she has been the one to destroy people before. She isn't inclined to tell Betty of her past infidelity. Past is past. The addicts should understand that. 

"How we mend those wounds is indicative of our love for them. Listen to my analogy. We don't leave each other to bleed. You are no exception. You're bleeding Betty. Physically bleeding. Give yourself the grace to let us patch you up before you worry about anyone else"

"You don't get it. I don't trust myself around Amelia"

Betty begins to forget Amelia is even the woman she lies upon. She forgets she's even in the room. For if she remembered, she wouldn't have been able to close her eyes and rest into a fitful sleep. She wouldn't have been able to be held so close by the one woman she longed for, unable to accept that finally, she has her.