My Own Angel

Part 5

The end of the year was coming so fast. Time was flying by and I only had a little over 2 months left in high school. I couldn't believe it. Things were going great until I received some bad news that ripped my heart from my chest.

Seth came over on a Saturday night and told me that he had something to tell me. "Sit down," he said, with a hint of urgency and concern.

"I don't want to sit. Tell me what's wrong," I said, staring into his eyes. He had been crying. And from what I saw, he had been crying hard for quite a while. What the hell was going on?

"Alex... I'm leaving tomorrow morning... I couldn't think of another way to tell you other than just saying it. I tried to fight against my parents, saying that I wanted to stay. My parents are splitting up again, and my dad is forcing me to go to New York with my mom. He said he's tired of having me around and wants me out."

I was in complete shock. I couldn't take this. I'm losing my only friend. I looked down at my angel wing necklace that he gave me only 3 months before. Falling to the floor, I began to sob. There were sounds coming out of me that I never heard before. My chest hurt with immense pain, and it was almost unbearable. I didn't know what to do other than cry and hit the ground with frustration.

"Alex. Stop. Please. I don't want to see you like this," he cried as he bent down and took my hands in his. My knuckles were bloody and the bones almost through the skin. I didn't realize I was hitting the floor that hard. I didn't care at this point. Physical pain is easier to deal with than emotional pain.

Seth sat there with me until I stopped crying, and just held me to make sure I was okay. He told me that he had to go finish packing, but would stop by in the morning to tell me goodbye. I hugged him tighter than I ever have before, and I was almost unable to let go. I thought that if I let him go, I would never see him again despite his promise to say goodbye tomorrow. Almost like he would just disappear and slip through my fingers like sand. I began to cry again as I realized he was hugging me just as tight. We helped each other. We saved each other. But by this time tomorrow, he will be gone. He told me goodbye, and I stood in the doorway for a solid half hour, just staring at the tree across the street. Its branches were beginning to flower in excitement of spring. It must be boring to do the same old thing, in the same cycle, all year round. You bloom, and then you die, and you cycle through again. Then, I realized, the same thing was happening to me.

I walked upstairs and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. I saw a teenager with black streaks down her cheeks. A broken teenager. A girl so broken, she was maybe beyond repair.

I opened up the side mirror, revealing a medicine cabinet. I could do it, I thought to myself, I could rid myself of this pain. I thought of my mom. She would be heartbroken. She would be in the same place I am at this moment. I began to cry harder. And harder. I couldn't go back to who I was. I left that person behind. I'm stronger now. At least, I thought I was. I was on the floor of my bathroom in a million shattered pieces. I had to fight for breath in between my sobs. I clutched my chest from the pain and the oxygen not satisfying my lungs. I felt lightheaded. My eyes wouldn't focus and my vision got really blurry. More than anything, I wanted my mom here, but she left a few hours ago to deal with a work situation. I was alone and had to pull through this on my own. The blurriness wouldn't subside, and only got worse with every passing second. Each breath I took felt like a knife into my chest, only making me cry harder.

Almost as if my prayers had been answered, my mom rushed into the bathroom. "Alex! Sweetie! It's okay, I'm here! What happened?" Her voice seemed distant, almost like I was underwater. I felt myself falling backwards, and a sharp pain in the back of my head. I saw my mom's blurry figure fall to the ground next to me, but then my vision was swallowed in a black abyss.