Suicide

:yes there is more to it:Part 4

Okay well today me and my boyfriend make 5 months and I'm happy because he makes me happy! But I was walking towards him and he was kissing another girl as I walk closer that was Tasha! I ran home and cried my eyes out how can he do this to me! He know everything about me what if he tells Tasha stuff... Like something I didn't mention in to scared but here I go... When my step dad came out of jail and I said he abused me I didn't mean abuse As in hit me no I mean sexually abused me... He forced everything he had on me I would cry every night and my boyfriend was the only thing that kept me up and made me feel protected! And now he treated me like this! I'm tired Of everything of my parents my everything my damn life!!! I'm on the range of committing suicide I'm don't I can't ever do anything right I'm fat ugly JUST LOOK AT ME!!! I texted my boyfriend and my mom "I love you" I'm pretty sure they thought nothing of it but I can't take it no more! I have the razor in my arms this skin is now my compass and I'm going to bleed everything out I'm sick of crying!! Im ready it's time I'm not happy here the once around me are the once to blame I'm sick of the way I am I'm tired this is it world I'm pretty sure you would read this mom cause it will be here for you to read you'll be very disappointed in me cause j was your soldier I was you little warrior remember mom? I was strong. I was... But I can't do this anymore I'm sorry mommy I love you please forgive me you'll forget I'm even gone just look up at the sky if you want to see me. I'm sorry for being such a big disappointment to you in sorry for not always being the best child you want to have I'm sorry... I'm sorry my little sibling that's coming out pretty soon isn't going to grow up knowing their 1st big sister I'm sorry to all my siblings they won't see me know more.. Maybe now I could see my dad up in heaven and he would guide my way.. It's time for me to go I feel t and this time I'm ready I'm sorry mom I love you the rope is ready hung, tied and I'm going to throw the journal on my bed as I hang my self front the chair I'm going to miss you and everywhere I go in taking you with me in my heart... Good bye mom -your new guardian angel ...