COFEE BREAK • TXTZY × EN-AESPA ONESHOTS

3 am

"Can you tell me everything from the start?"

"Start of what?"

"When did it start to become this bad?"

"I barely remember. I just remember asking myself. What am I supposed to do this time?"

"It's been 15 days since I quit my job. I kinda felt happy because it made me feel free from something that made me feel strangled."

"But I don't want to perceive my job like that. Because everyone I met there was so warm hearted and very kind. They were like a family to me. But at the end of the day I know they're just passerbys in my life."

"I can't help myself but easily let go of all the memories with them no matter how happy I was at the time."

"If the environment made you feel that way. It means that it was comfortable and happy for you. I could tell that you feel safe so why did you suddenly quit?"

"I quit because of work. I feel so worn out one day and every time after a day off. I have this strong urge that I'm scared to go to work. I honestly don't remember when and how it started or when I started feeling like that."

"I just suddenly became very desperate to find reasonable reasons to not come to work. That I had to use my own grandmother and lie of visiting and taking care of her."

"It's true that I felt safe with everyone at work. They all treated me like their own little sister and made sure I have everything I need to grow."

"But at some point. All of it. The memories. All the times we were all happy. They no longer work the same to make me motivated or stay there."

"It was okay that the work became more difficult but I always taught myself to adjust. But I got tired and just work because I have to."

"I somehow pushed myself and maybe too hard and I didn't know I got on the edge more quickly than I imagined."

"So I decided to quit and it made me more conflicted because of my team trying to encourage me to stay. And I remember Michelle clearly telling me… "So everytime you get tired, you're just gonna quit?"

"That hit me so hard and I started convincing myself that I'm only 18 and I don't need to work. I should be enjoying life at that age. But that age brought me back to where this year started to become horrible."

"I also believed the saying from that movie. That if you expect disappointment, then you'll never really be disappointed."

"But it is honestly easier said than done."

"I've always pictured myself not being able to celebrate my golden birthday. That it would be a rainy day and there won't be a party nor gifts. That it will be a sad day. Worst case scenario is that everybody forgot."

"It would've been better if they just forgot. But on my birthday, it was rainy. My sister wasn't there, on my 17th she wasn't there either because she fought with my dad. I feel so lonely but she still sent me a cake."

"I'm grateful for it but I can't take off the image of my father just sitting and doing nothing. Mostly playing games on his phone. And he's just there. When I turn 18."

"But at least I got to be happy after singing at the church and I consider that as the only gift I'll forever remember on that day."

"I thought I'll be okay because I expected that. But as my siblings celebrated their birthdays, I suddenly felt bitter."

"And about 2 months later, I set out to work instead of enrolling for college. I told my friends about it and they were sad that I won't continue to college. I've always wanted to talk to them but as time goes by, I feel like I'm drifting apart."