Drowning || Larry Stylinson

chapter seven

"Wh-what the..." Louis had started to say as he backed away from Harry. His cheeks were ablaze and his mouth was dropped open. Harry looked just as shocked as Louis had, like he hadn't even been aware of his own body's actions. Like he couldn't help but to kiss Louis.

"Lou, I-," Harry stammered, but nothing came out. There was no attempt at an apology or an explanation. Louis couldn't even begin to think of a thing Harry could say that could make what just happened any better.

Louis shook his head and sat down on his bed. "I don't think there's anything to say, Harry," he said.

Harry reached out his hand, maybe to hug Louis or comfort him. But Louis leaned back and away from him, like Harry's very touch was enough to set him on fire.

"Louis...I-I...please," Harry stuttered, but Louis held up his hand.

There was nothing he wanted to hear or wanted to happen. If anything, Louis just wanted to be left alone. His brain was screaming nonsensical things as he tried his best to process what had happened. The two men had gone from fiercely fighting to suddenly kissing within the matter of minutes. How did any of that connect?

"I think maybe...we should give each other space...to figure this out," Louis murmured, his eyes trained to the floor.

Harry stood there and stared at Louis for awhile, like he couldn't get his feet to move from that spot. Like he was cemented to the carpet. Louis willed the man to just leave, so he could try his best to process what the fuck just happened. It took a few moments before Harry just nodded and turned away from Louis. He headed back towards the exit, hesitating for just a moment before he opened the door.

"Ha-Hey!" Niall cheered as he lifted up the pizza and sodas above his head. He smiled wide at the two men, without an inkling of what had just happened between the two of them. When the vibes seemed off, Niall's smile fell just the smallest bit and the pizzas dropped to his waist level. "What's going on? What happened?"

"Nothing, Niall, I was just leaving," Harry replied, pushing past Niall to get into the hallway.

Niall seemed even more confused as Harry practically ran down the hallway back to his hotel room. The Irish lad turned around and furrowed his eyebrows at Louis, who just sat down on his bed and pushed his face into his hands. He groaned into his palms as he tried to get rid of the roaring in his ears.

"Louis, what happened?" Niall asked as he shut the door and came closer to the man, placing the pizzas and drinks down on his bed. He moved to sit down next to Louis, placing a hand on the bottom of his back and rubbing it. "Come on, Lou, you can tell me anything."

---

"Well...you know, I really thought I had heard everything. I mean I had to calm down everyone when we lost X-Factor, I'm the one who has to make sure none of us misbehave during interviews, and I'm the one who everyone comes to for advice. Yet...I'm stumped," Liam said as he stared at the ground, like he couldn't possibly believe that any of this could be happening.

Louis groaned louder as he buried his face into his pillow. "No one is helping, and I refuse to tell anyone else," he replied, just sounding whinier and whinier as the sentence went on.

When Louis told Niall about what had happened, there was a huge silence between them before the blond started to pace around the room in a nervous rampage. He kept taking in breaths like he was going to say something but ultimately shut his mouth and said nothing at all. When he finally gave up on coming up with the proper thing to say, Niall had asked Louis if they could possibly just call up Zayn, who was unusually chill about everything. But when he didn't answer the phone, they had to call up Liam instead, who was in disbelief and rushed on over.

"Well, I'm not sure how to help, Louis. Would you like me to go punch him for kissing you?" Liam asked, even though everyone in the room knew that he would never do that to his 'little brother'. And that he would also most likely lose that fight between the two of them.

"No," Louis whimpered. He grabbed another pillow and pressed it against the back of his head, as well, so that he couldn't hear anything at all. Despite his best efforts, though, Louis could still hear Liam and Niall as they whispered back and forth about something. Louis removed the pillow and lifted his head. "What are you two whispering about?"

The two men stared at Louis for a moment before Niall sighed. "We kind of...expected something was going to happen," he finally said.

Louis furrowed his brows. "What do you mean by that? Did Harry say something to you guys?"

"No, it's nothing like that. It's just...you two are oddly close at times. When Harry came out as gay, we honestly thought you would follow suit," Niall said as he rubbed the back of his neck. His face was scrunched up uncomfortably, like he couldn't even believe he had said anything at all.

"I'm not gay," Louis stated firmly. "Harry very well may be gay, but I never planned on coming out or anything like that. Harry and me are mates, nothing more. Well...I actually don't really know if we're mates anymore, with how everything has gone lately."

"Yeah, we all noticed how strange things have been," Liam replied. "You two aren't as sly as you might think you are. We can tell there's been something wrong. Not only with your friendship, but also with you."

Frowning, Louis looked between his bandmates, wondering what exactly they were talking about. "Wh-what?" he asked. "What do you mean something wrong with me?"

Louis' two bandmates looked between each other before Niall sighed and answered, "Louis, you passed out."

"That was just a one off thing, it's not like I'm constantly passing out or anything!" Louis defended, even though he wasn't even sure why he felt the need to. It wasn't like either one of his friends were judging him at all, in fact they looked incredibly worried and upset. But Liam kept scanning Louis' face, like he was trying to read his mind. Trying to understand deep down what was going on at a molecular level. "Guys, I promise, I would let you know if there was an issue."

Niall's mouth set into a thin line. "Alright. We'll leave you alone on it, then," he replied, obviously annoyed and upset that Louis wouldn't share more of what was going on.

Really, Louis didn't have a full grasp of what was happening to him. It just felt like nothing was okay at the moment. Like at any second Louis was going to be catapulted off a cliff into the icy waters below, where he would be engulfed in waves and wouldn't be able to keep himself afloat. Every second felt like liquid in his lungs, filling them like balloons until their eventual burst. When Louis passed out, his heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was going to leave his chest and shoot across the room, and that feeling of nervousness didn't stop running through his veins. Louis genuinely was afraid this was going to be his demise, even though he knew deep down he wasn't going to die.

"I'd appreciate it," Louis firmly stated, patting his knees a couple times before standing and going towards the door. "I think...I think it's going to be okay, but I think I just need to sleep. If you guys...if you could just leave, I think that would be for the best."

The two men hesitated, Niall's lips opening and closing with an audible 'smack' like he was trying to think of something to say. But after a few seconds of silence, the two just left without another word. When Louis shut the door behind his bandmates, he pressed his back to the door and sunk down to the floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face into them, trying to keep himself calm. He wasn't sure what he was going to do anymore, and wasn't sure what the point of trying really was.

Would it really matter to anyone if Louis just let himself go?