𝗔𝗪𝗔𝗞𝗘 [ UNDER HEAVY REVISION ]

AWAKE : THIRTY FOUR

MINA'S POINT OF VIEW

I was once a good and their favorite child.

They always treated me like a princess and something like a gem. They would always say how much they loved me and cared about me.

I always did my best when it came to academics, which made my parents love me more. Even my oldest brother didn't feel any envy towards me, and that's good.

They knew me as a soft-hearted kid who was kind and had a bright future.

Not until the disaster happened.

I pushed one of my classmates off a swing set because he wouldn't let me have my turn. I'm also one of those bullies at my school who picks on weaker kids.

Sometimes, I did things just for fun. 

I once set my neighbor's cat on fire just to see how it would react while it was engulfed in scorching flames. I even took a picture of it using my dad's old camera.

Whenever a relative visited us, I always made sure that they would not forget me. Not because I did something good for them, but because of some horrible stunt that I had orchestrated.

I had thrown an aunt's phone in our toilet bowl because I remembered seeing her name multiple times in my dad's messages. I thought at first that she was his new girlfriend, so I figured I should do something about it. I didn't want any other woman catching my dad's attention aside from my mom.

I am not a good teenager.

And Momo and Sana know that.

Troublemaker, they call me. The things I did when I was a child got worse.

I am still studying, but my grades... let's just say they jumped from the tallest building and landed on the ground floor. My mom... she would always set her standards for me higher, so everything I did would end up disappointing her.

And that made me hate on studying.

Her expectations were so high that even my height couldn't reach them.

I'm also a pro at sneaking out of the house at night to go to nightclubs. I even tried to smoke once. I was caught doing it, and my mom had to get me out of the police station with all the money she had in her pocket.

That day, they started calling me Sharon. I don't know where they got that idea, but Momo said that every time I turn into a bad little penguin, it looks like I'm a different person but with the same face.

I didn't complain to them. I know that the Mina who is a soft-hearted little kid they know is still in my body... it's just that sometimes, people change because of a disastrous event that causes trauma to them.

I am not a good sister.

I was always mean to my brother. I didn't want to treat him right because I always envied him. He always got everything because he's the oldest between us. I just wanted the attention he always got, even for once.

Yes....I'm a selfish person.

But now... Now I miss him so much. I'd do anything to be with him again. I just want everything to go back to normal. Or as normal as they can be.

My dad told me once that anyone can change, no matter how bad they can be. We should always forgive other people and give them a chance to change for the better. He told me this hours before he died

I had just graduated from elementary school when that happened.

My dad was on his way home after a day of work when a gang of teenagers decided to make fun of him. They stabbed him in the stomach fifteen times, took all of his belongings, and left him alone in a dark alley, bathing in his own blood.

As soon as we saw my dad's mutilated body, my mom lost it. She cried so hard, deep sobs shaking her body, while shouting the word "why."

Why did you leave us? Why didn't you fight back? Why didn't you ask for help? Why, why, why, why, why?

It sucks, losing my dad like that. It was like a huge, sudden wave at the beach, wiping everything away so fast and so abruptly that you don't have time to run from it.

It hurts.

So much.

After that, she did her best to raise me and my brother single-handedly. She got multiple jobs, distracting herself from the deep sorrow of losing her beloved husband. He was her first love, and I know that he'll be her last.

I admire my mom because of that. But still, because she tried so hard to distract herself, she didn't have enough time to take care of us anymore. I know that it's unfair to complain when she's doing everything she can to feed me and my brother, but... is it wrong to demand more of that so-called quality time with her? 

Sometimes it feels like I have lost her, too.

Because of that, my behavior got worse.

I was not a good person back then, and I'm certainly not a good person now. I don't even know why I teamed up with a bunch of teenagers on a mission to save all of humanity

I mean... what's the point? If it's really true that we're dealing with some... extra-terrestrial beings, then we'll die before even making a move against them. They are practically holding us by our necks right now because of the virus they unleashed on the whole world.

I don't know why I'm doing this, but one thing's for sure:

I won't let myself die without doing anything.

Maybe my dad was right. It's not too late to change.

--

okay, Sharon ver. Sharon Cuneta. (ノ•̀ o •́ )ノ