I love Valentine’s Day, thought Mel. It makes you think…
“I hate Valentine’s Day,” an annoyed voice began behind her. “Having to buy flowers and a present, this big commercial thing…and you know she expects it…”
“I’d like to make something for her for Valentine’s Day, you know, kind of personal,” another male voice replied.
“But would she like that?” the annoyed voice derided.
“Well, she’d have to say that, because she’d sound really shallow if she didn’t, but she really wants something bought…”
He laughed. “I like that I can just buy flowers and chocolates and things, it’s so much easier. Have you tried to get a restaurant booking?”
Now both of them were laughing. “Valentine’s Day and Chinese New Year in the same week? I’d never get a table! I hate going out for dinner on Valentine’s Day, it’s always so crowded, expensive and romantic…we’ll be having dinner at home tonight.”
“Yeah, mate, me too. Who wants to go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day?”
The train stopped and Mel turned, recognising the Hell Corporation ties the men wore, but not the men themselves. She shrugged – she hadn’t been there long, she could hardly know everyone. The crowd of commuters leaving the train soon separated her from the two anti-valentines and she felt relieved.
It was hot already, so she kept to the shaded walkways up to the office. Beneath the glass ceilings on the plaza, someone had hung red lanterns, to celebrate the start of the Year of the Snake. Beneath the lanterns, a florist had a huge display of red roses in the window. “Only $100, a dozen roses delivered to YOUR Valentine!” said the sign painted on the window.
Mel walked past the florist, taking a deep breath as she did so. Something smelled beautiful and it sure wasn’t the phalanx of red flowers. She entered the shop and the scent mystery was solved. She waited patiently for service from the angry florist and her stressed assistant.
“Why did you order so many Asiatics? No one wants Asiatics for Valentine’s Day – everyone wants red roses! Now we won’t have space in the fridge for what we really need!” The florist’s face was growing as red as the flowers she was shoving into the fridge. “And chocolates – how could you order gold hearts when everyone wants red? We’ll never sell these!”
The assistant looked about fifteen and ready to cry. “I didn’t…you told me…” She proffered an order pad, pointing at handwriting that looked too old to be hers. “What do I do with the liliums?”
“Put them out on sale! We’ll sell them at 4 o’clock for twice what they’re worth to the desperate men who forgot to order roses, or put them in the bin!” the florist snarled.
Mel stepped up to the counter. “How much for the liliums?” The smell of them was tantalising her. It had been so long since she’d had any.
The assistant looked at the florist, who didn’t deign to reply. “O-on sssale today, twenty dollars a bunch.”
Mel smiled. “How about those useless chocolates?”
“Cost price plus GST,” the florist said, her eyes showing her desperation. “Thirty-three dollars.”
Mel held out her Visa card. “Can you please do me a large bunch of three of these, along with the chocolates, please?”
“Yes, ma’am,” the assistant replied, trying to hide her smile from the florist as she made Mel’s flowers as pretty as possible with pink paper and ribbon.
YOU ARE READING
Mel Goes To Hell
Humor“Great, see you in hell at 9 on Monday morning!" Even working in hell has a funny side. Mel accepted a job in the Hell Corporation. The push for cost-cutting, consolidation and privatisation meant most government services were contracted out to one...
