That Pervert

Another Roadtrip

TW: Self Harm

Sage~

I've been going crazy without him.

I'm starving but I can't eat.

I'm devastated but I can't cry.

I'm in pain but for some reason I can't heal.

I'm angry but I can't shout.

I'm tired but I can't sleep anymore.

I've been drained and left with nothing to absorb.

I lay in bed, bags under my eyes from my lack of sleep.

My stomach won't stop growling for food.

But I can't.

I can't leave my room, let alone my bed.

I can't think straight, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't talk, I can't even move.

I can't do anything anymore.

I feel so pathetic.

So why try.

I've kept my razor by my bed.

It stung at first but I'm used to it now.

It's so relieving.

It's a way of letting out anger and stress and all these other things I've been feeling.

Blake and mom knock on my door multiple times a day.

I can tell they're worried about me.

But I can't look at them.

Everything reminds me of Caid.

Mom has green eyes, but they'll never be as bright as his.

I'd remember coming home from school and seeing Blake and Caid on the couch laughing their asses off at some stupid jokes they were making with eachother.

And them staying up late on school nights screaming at their stupid game.

Caid always tried making food here but he always ended burning himself and crying like a baby to me.

He's terrified of spiders.

Even the smallest, most harmless spider there is would scare him.

His favorite color is dark green. He loves walking in the woods, or really anywhere.
His favorite drink is coffee, black coffee. Although, he loves sweet tea too.

He works out in the morning only when he's feeling tired, and he works out at night if he's stressed.

He loves hugs and cuddling. He's like a big teddy bear.

He loves sweatpants, especially grey ones.

He likes talking too, but not in an annoying way.

He likes making conversations, even if it's about the most random things.

Like one time he was talking about this one sock and how he-

"Sage come on, you need to come out of your room. Mom and I really worried about you. You haven't eaten anything in over a week. You haven't even gone outside. Just please come out here Sage."

I don't care what either of them say. I'm not leaving my bed.

There's no point if Caid isn't here.

Everything in life is dull without him.

Nothing has a spark. Nothing is interesting anymore.

Everything is plain and lifeless.

I haven't left his hoodie or his sweatpants, but they don't smell like him anymore.