The Healer | Part 1: The Hogwarts Years

Ruining a Bloke's Day

Edith

I thought I would really struggle with food during the holidays, but I was surprised with how much easier it was than I had been expecting. Umbridge's comment about my weight gain as well as the fact that my clothes were fitting tighter made the eating disorder's voice much harder to ignore. But stepping on the scale had validated me somehow. I was working hard to recover and was putting weight back on, but I wasn't massive like I had feared.

Both Bonnie and my mother had commented on how good I looked. My mother told me I looked more like a woman now, that I had beautiful curves. I still tried to avoid full-length mirrors, so I had no choice but to take her word for it. I didn't quite have the nerve to stand in front of a mirror or look at a photo of myself.

As always, there were lots of sweets and chocolates around during Christmas. I avoided them mostly and no one said anything about it. I still wasn't fully comfortable indulging like I usually did around this time of year. But I did manage Christmas lunch with turkey, a Yorkshire pud, some potatoes and veg, but no gravy and no pudding after. Again, nobody said a word about it.

My father's strategy with the eating disorder seemed to be to pretend it didn't exist. Unfortunately, this meant that he didn't acknowledge me much anymore. Last summer, we had only really spoken during our driving lessons, and even then, he had only spoken to correct my technique or give me directions. The car rides had been mostly quiet and almost awkward. He seemed to be afraid to say something that would upset me, so he didn't say anything at all.

My mother took me shopping for new bras as mine were far too tight now. We didn't get new school shirts, my old ones were still a bit big but the ones I had purchased from Gladrags were too small now. It was odd to realize that I had put on weight, but it had been redistributed on my body and didn't seem to be going back to where it had been. Bonnie had been right, it seemed to have mostly gone to my boobs and bum. I accidentally caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror at the shopping centre and was quite pleasantly surprised at what I saw. I had to look twice to make sure it was actually me. My waist was still tiny, but I had more of an hourglass shape now. I was still quite slim, but definitely curvier.

I stepped on the bathroom scale again the night before I left for London. It only read two pounds higher than it had been three weeks prior. Maybe my weight was stabilizing now that I was eating more regularly. I was alright with that. For the first time in almost a year, I was happy with how I looked and what I weighed.

I had barely stepped off the Hogwarts Express the next day when I felt the Galleon Hermione had given me months ago burn in my pocket. I kept it close by out of habit, usually until I knew the time of the next meeting.

After Mia, Cho, Marietta and I had dragged our trunks upstairs, I pulled it out of my pocket to read it.

'Oh, brilliant,' I said out loud. 'There's going to be a meeting Wednesday evening.'

'That didn't take long,' Cho remarked, pulling her own Galleon out of her trunk and examining it.

She hadn't had a chance to speak with Potter since their awkward kiss before the holidays. I hadn't seen him or any of the Weasleys on the train, they must not be back yet. Either that or they had arrived some other way. I hoped Mr Weasley was alright.

'I don't know about this,' Marietta said slowly, looking at her own Galleon.

'About what?' Cho asked.

'This whole group!' She said. 'You understand it's illegal, right?'

'Of course it is,' Cho laughed. 'It always was. But that doesn't mean it isn't necessary. We have to learn how to defend ourselves somehow.'