I'm not one to easily let emotions take hold of me, so when I do, it's bad. Really bad.
*2 years ago*
My laptop dies. Fuck. I plug it in and start to make dinner. While the pasta is cooking, I read for English.
Dylan comes home from practice and asks when dinner will be ready.
"If you are so impatient, make it your fucking self." I snap, the stress of all the tests coming up and keeping the apartment clean and making dinner and doing laundry getting to me.
"Jeez, calm the hell down."
"Do not tell me to calm down." I say, ice cold. I drop the latel and my book on the floor and storm out.
XXXXXXXXXX
I run. I don't know where I'm going or how I will get back. We have only been here 3 months, so I'm not entirely acquainted with the area. After the 17th call from Dylan (and countless texts) I shut my phone off. I stop by a pond and take a rock and chuck it in. I scream.
"WHY IS EVERYTHING SO FUCKING HARD?!" I scream as I chuck another rock.
The hot tears start to come after the 4th rock. I sit down and just let myself cry. I've never done that. I've always bottled up my emotions, and it's worked. But once in a while it's nice to just cry. The tears are still coming strong, but now I'm silent. I sit on a rock staring at the pond for a while.
I turn my phone on to check the time. 57 missed calls, 182 messages. 3:24 am. Wow. I've been out here a long time. I listen to the most recent message Dylan left me.
"Baby, I love you so much." He starts. Woah, what the fuck, love?! He knows how I feel about that...
"I'm so sorry. I was being a dick. Just tell me where you are. I can't--" he lets out a sob. "I can't loose you. Where are you, Care-Bear? Please tell me, I love you so much, baby---" beep.
The line clicks off. The tears start up again. It's too hard. It's all too hard.
Are we even good for each other? It's just harder to be in a relationship. You always have to consider the other person. I put myself first, always have. I'm no good for him. I love him too much to let myself hurt him.
After about an hour there are headlights. Dylan jumps out of the car and runs up to me.
"Care-Bear!" He yells and pulls me into a hug and sobs into my hair.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry, baby. I love you." My tears wet his shirt but he doesn't care.
"It's ok. I'm sorry for overreacting." He tries to kiss me but I turn my head.
"What's wrong?" He asks.
"Dylan..." My voice cracks and I look down.
"No, Cara. Don't do this." He says, sounding slightly angry.
"I just don't think we are good for each other." I whisper. I walk away. He doesn't come after me. He doesn't fight for me.
YOU ARE READING
When It All Comes Crashing Down
Romance"They say when you're dying, your whole life flashes before your eyes. But for me, it was a few good memories, but also my biggest regrets. And as the plane crashes down I can only think of one thing, him and how much I fucked up. Before I get into...
