1000 + 1 Stars

what if?

4 weeks later (Tian’s POV)

I was escorted out of Nam’s office as Chief was laid on the bed, bleeding to death. Yod was holding me back while I was fighting him off.

“Yod, let me go. I need to be beside him! He needs me!” I yelled out at the top of my lungs, feeling impatient and my world was falling apart. 

“Tian, have faith in Nam. He’s trying his best in saving Phupha! If you go in there, you’re only going to be getting in the way!” Rang attacked back, in a calming tone. 

I faced him back to argue, but the uncertainty of Phupha’s state got to me, breaking down. “What would I do without him? He can’t die!” My voice echoed throughout the waiting room. Rang and Yod were comforting me as we anticipated any news from doctor Nam. 

Nam came out of his office what felt like forever. He came out with teary eyes which halted my heart. “Tian.” He whispered, casting his eyes to the floor, “I’m sorry. I tried my best. He’s in a better place now.” His voice cracked. My breathing fastened, hatred coursing through my blood. I grabbed him by the collar aggressively and shaked him, tears pouring down my face.

“Why would you let this happen? To me! You know how much I love him! He was my world! Nam!” I broke down in Nam’s arm, the room started spinning around like crazy. With all of the stress I was carrying on my shoulders, I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my heart. 

    I took in a long breath, rubbing my chest in pain. Everything was turning black and Nam’s voice was fading little by little, “Tian, take a seat and we’ll talk about it calmly. You’re only damaging your heart with all of this stress.” 

    Once I passed out, I shot up from my bed, startling Chief. I wiped my tears, uncontrollable sobs spilling out of my mouth.

“Tian, what’s wrong?” He asked groggily, rubbing his sleepy eyes. I am not able to respond, shaking my head as I buried it in my arms. I felt Phupha’s arms wrap around me comfortable giving me a sense of relief that he was still alive yet the nightmare was still not escaping from my mind. 

“You died. You were shot when on patrol.” I simply muttered, a frown appearing on my face with quivering lips. 

“That’s not going to happen. It was only a nightmare.” He reassured me. He scooted me close to him, turning me into the little spoon. I felt his breath tickle my neck. I softly smiled, slowly feeling better. 

“Come on. Don’t be sad. That won’t ever happen,” He got up, “Yod, Rang, and Nam will be coming in any moment now.” 

There was a knock at the door. Phupha opened the door, welcoming Yod, Rang, and Nam. Phupha goes out with them, sitting at the dining table. I get up from the bed and stretch tiredly. I come out of the cabin and head to make breakfast for everyone.

Making joke, I got a whiff of the strong scent, making me instantly nauseous. I took a break, taking in deep breaths, trying not to end up throwing up like recently.

“Hey Tian, what’s wrong?” Nam questioned in doctor mode setting in. 

“It’s nothing.” I said, swallowing back the temptation of vomiting. I setted the dishes on the table and sat down next to Phupha.  

“I heard that there’s going to be a gathering tonight.” Rang announced, changing the subject.

“At what time?” Yod asked. 

“At 6.” Phupha answered.  

Time passed already

    Couple hours have passed already, and I was heading to help Ayi and Meejoo with feeding their chickens. I wai’d to their parents, “good afternoon.” They wai’d back. I was eagerly yanked by Meejoo. 

    “Woah Meejoo slow down.” I warned as we approached the chicken’s cages. 

    “Sorry Tian!” she let go of my wrist.

 We spent the majority of the afternoon cleaning the cages and feeding the chickens. Once the sun was setting down for the day, we headed to the gathering. 

    Arriving at the village’s center, everyone was there already including Nam. He handed me a plate of food, “here you go tian.” 

    “Thanks,” I took the plate from his grip and took the first few small bites before getting hit by a wave of nausea. I gulped it down fast and setting the plate to the side, I dashed to the nearest trash can. With the urge to throw up, I couldn’t make it and I ended up vomiting behind a bush. I can’t handle these nauseous feelings! 

    The flow of my vomit was not stopping anytime soon. I was throwing up everything I ate today. I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. 

    “Tian, are you okay?” Nam asked in a worried tone, doctor mode on. 

Wiping my mouth clean with the back of my hand, I reluctantly got up with the help of Nam’s hand and responded, “No I haven’t been feeling myself lately. I’ve been throwing up every day this past week. I can’t even handle the smell of food.” I switched glances to both of them from time to time. 

    “All week. Why haven’t you come to me?” Nam exclaimed out loud. 

    “I thought it would eventually go away. I never thought it could be anything serious.” I remarked back. 

    “You should go to my clinic tomorrow. There could be several things either an infection… or you might be pregnant.” He dragged out the last phrase. 

    I whipped my head to face him with a confused expression, “no.” I shut down the option, not wanting to be teased.

    His face was serious, clearly not expecting that from him, “tian I’m serious. I’m trying to help you here, medically. Have you had unprotected sex with Phupha?”

    Too embarrassed to even admit it out loud, I just nod. “But it was only one time!” I counter attacked.

    “That doesn’t matter. Everyone is different. Some people struggle to conceive whereas some people don’t. It’s best if we run a pregnancy test tomorrow at my clinic.”

    The feeling of overwhelming fear settled in the pit of my stomach. I don’t want to burden Phupha with a child. He already has a lot of stress that he’s dealing with. This pregnancy is only going to get in the way. What if it would only stress him out? What if he wouldn’t want our baby? What if he would leave me?...