To, All The Boys I've Loved Before

҂ ࣪˖ Chapter 13

Without even realising tears welled up in my eyes, a sharp stinging pain spread out within my chest. Putting a hand over my mouth to suppress the sob, I fell down on my bed. Throwing the phone somewhere on the bed, as I put my face in my palms, letting the tears flow out. Maybe I am overreacting, maybe I'm overthinking but the name he mentioned, that particular girl, I can't help but think of all possible scenarios.

Why was he with her? Did he ditch me because of her? Are they thinking of getting back together? What's happening with them? My head filled with all these thoughts, I always felt scared of losing him to her, she's way better than me, he probably loved her even more than me. Why is he doing this to me! I sobbed, trying my best not to let anyone hear them but Jaehyun who just got out of the bathroom saw my state as he rushed towards me.

"Y/N what happened? Why are you crying? Tell me!" He squatted down in front of me. It felt like I became deaf, as his questions went ignored by me. Anxiously standing up, his eyes started searching for any possible reason which left me in such a miserable state. Soon his eyes found that, the faintly lit white screen of my phone caught his attention as he reached out to it.

"Are you crying because of Taeyong?" He sighed as I nodded to his question. Keeping my phone on the nightstand he walked towards me, lightly grabbing my shoulder trying to get me to stand up. "C'mon stand up." Complying to his commands I stood up as he walked me towards the bed, seating me down he carefully removed my shoes and climbed in from the other side.

"Taeyong and Soojin, are you scared about them?" He softly patted my back. "The- they are tog- together." I hiccuped as tears didn't stop flowing out. His hand slowly guided my head to rest on his shoulder, I sniffed shifting closer to him, grabbing the hem of his sweater, letting all my insecurities out while his light strokes trailed from my head to my back.

"He ditched me because of her, he- he went to her... I don't matter to him. Everything he does to me, every action of his is repeated. He still loves her." I sniffed again, hugging him through his waist as my tears stained the soft material of his sweater. "She's much prettier, popular and better than me. He definitely will go back to her. Sh- she's just like a beautiful goddess. I hate myself, it's all because of me." Jaehyun's strokes came to a halt hearing these words.

Seeing you break down on his shoulder left him shattered. His heart clenched seeing tears staining those rosy pink cheeks of yours. He knows how he fought the urge to fight back when you said that Soojin was better than you, because that's the biggest lie he has ever heard. In his eyes, you were perfect, the girl he could spend hours looking at pictures of or thinking about her.

That's how he spent those many years in America. He tried dating many girls, but no one can compare to you, his first and what he thought last love. Just looking at his lockscreen or that folder in his gallery which is full of your pictures, he spent hours thinking about you, you never left his mind, not even in all these years.

What felt like hours, your sniffles slowly turned into soft snores as you fell limp, the tight grip on his waist loosening, you slowly drifting into dreamland forgetting about everything that happened almost an hour ago. Finally you were calm and relaxed. A painful smile made Jaehyun's lip curve upwards as he whispered even painfully slow, "I wish he cared about these tears, I wish he knew how precious these are, how precious you are. Only if it had been me in his place..."

Placing your head carefully in his lap, he traced a thumb over your cheeks, feeling the dried tears and red stained cheeks, wiping a few tears off of your face, he admired your enticing beauty. Even in this state you looked breathtaking to him. He can't help but let his thumb wander over your chapped lips. How much he wants to kiss them, taste them, drown in the feeling of them on his own, get intoxicated by you; only he knows how bad he wants to do that.