Mixed Ambitions (Homestuck fanfic: Solkat/Davekat)

Girls

A boring afternoon today. The sun is burning the people walking on the sidewalk and the wind is taking its day off. And I'm glad that I'm not outside where people burn. I'm inside, on my bed.

I, Karkat Vantas, was browsing shit in my laptop until some douche walked into my room. And the douche is Dave Strider..in his god tier..

"Sup"

"STRIDER?" I asked.

"No, I'm Egbert. Of course I'm Dave." He said.

"YOU'RE A FUCKING DICK, YOU KNOW THAT?" I told him, putting my laptop on the table beside my bed.

"Yes, I know you want to fuck my dick." Dave chuckled.

I rolled my eyes and stood up. "FUCK YOU" I crossed my arms and Dave raised a brow. "What time?"

I growled and sat on my bed. I grabbed something under it and pulled out a raygun John gave me. I have no idea why he gave me a raygun, but who cares? Definitely not me.

I aimed the raygun at Dave and threatened him "I WILL SHOOT YOU" he shrugged and sat down next to me, he pointed to the gun and said "looks useless to me." I sighed and placed the raygun on my pillow. I glared at Dave and he smirked. "CAN YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE?" I asked. Dave spaced out for a while, probably thinking. He looked at me and answered "No" Dave scooted closer to me and I slid away from him.

You know what sucks about living in this huge ass house? Lots of people live with you. Yeah, all the trolls and humans live here, in this huge house. And because we live together, Dave barges in my room all the time. And he spends his time with me by annoying the fuck out of me.

I slid farther but Dave wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer. "THAT'S IT, I'M GONE." I began to stand up but Strider grabbed me and pulled me down."You leave me no choice, kitkat." I gulped. "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ME?"

"I am going to wrap you with my badass cape."

Dave wrapped me and I tried to escape but his hands were wrapped around me. "DAVE!! LET ME GO!!!" I yelled. He shook his head. "No way, man."

"FUCK YOU!"

"I told you, I need a specific time! Hehe..time."

I groaned loudly. "These puns are funny, I bet Terezi has some in her mind."

"DAVE..SHUT UP.."

"Hey Karkat? If you could get out off my cape, would you turn this conversation into a blood bath?"

I tried to escape once again and failed. I shot Dave a glare and told him to let me go. "Nope, ya can't escape the badass cape."

"YOUR 'BADASS' CAPE SUCKS LIKE YOUR STUPID GLASSES!!"

"Shades, Karkat. Shades. They are shades."

"NO, THEY'RE GLASSES."

"It's obvious that they're shades."

"THEY'RE GLASSES, STRIDER. SEE?" I grabbed his shades and wore them. "Ah! Shit!" Dave yelled. He immediately closed his eyes and tackled me "Give them back!!" I removed the shades and gave it to him. He wore it and sighed of relief.

I caught him off guard and escaped his cape. "I'M FREE!!" I yelled. "Nope!" Dave said. I ran around my room and Dave chased me. This annoying prick!! I can't believe I have feelings for this guy..wait what? I have WHAT?!? I CAN'T BELIEVE I ADMITTED THAT TO MYSELF!

This time, Dave caught me off guard and hugged me from the back. "Got you" I tried to struggle free but it was no use. So I bit his arm.

"Ow! Shit! Ow ow ow!!" Dave let go of me and I grabbed the raygun. I read the label and it said 'GENDER SWAPPER'. Heh.

"DAVE?"

"What?" He turned to me.

"CAN YOU SHOOT THIS AT YOURSELF?" I asked. I showed him the raygun while covering the label.

"Why?"

"JUST DO IT"

Dave walked closer to me. "Give me apple juice and I'll do it." I rolled my eyes and shoved the raygun in his hands. "JUST DO IT." He looked at me weirdly and told me "You should do it too." I shook my head. "NO WAY" Dave pouted.

I sighed heavily and said "FINE". Dave went beside me and wrapped his arm around me. I got the raygun and aimed it at us. I pressed the button and light surrounded us. I closed my eyes shut, not wanting to see what we turned into.

"Holy shit." Dave said. "WHAT?!? WHAT HAPPENED?" I asked, eyes still closed. Wait..my voice..it's squeaky..

"Umm...just open our eyes." I shook my head. "TELL ME WE'RE FINE." I heard Dave mumble something.

"Yeah we're fine. If having long hair, an inflated chest, a higher voice and wider hips is fine..then yeah, we are fine."

I opened my eyes and ran into the bathroom and HOLY CRAP.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WE ARE GIRLS!!"