criminal minds imagines.

white wines welcomes: luke alvez.

y/n l/n doesn't know if she ever truly wanted to be a lawyer.
sometime during grad school she felt the inkling of doubt.
or maybe she first felt it during her freshman year.
all she knows is,
winning her cases are almost not worth the nightmares.
all the gruesome details,
the pained victims or the arrogant perpetrators,
the evidence she's touched that stains her fingers to this day.
of course,
her first case had been the hardest.
and though it's gotten easier,
it's still every bit as difficult.
not a day slips by y/n without her having a migraine.
and she doesn't know if recently,
she's been burning out or if this job is taking it's
toll on her,
but she finds herself tucked away in the bathroom of the courthouse,
shaking like a leaf in this midst of autumn.
"please just calm down, y/n,"
she whispers to herself for a sliver of reassurance.
and when her trembling begins to calm down enough to continue her day,
she slips out of the restroom and takes her well needed lunch break.
and just when she thinks she can escape,
have a moments peace from this burden of a job...

"today, on channel four, we're taking a look at the trial of virginia's newest, alleged serial killer. and his lawyer? notorious y/n l/n, whose degree was handed to her by harvard law school themselves after being deemed valedictorian and top of her class, winning nearly every single case given to her since! the trial begins today. here's to hoping mr. malcom is not the killer, seeing as the court stands no chance against virginias finest. will a killer be put back on the streets? or will an innocent man be released? more at twelve."

can't she go anywhere without hearing her name?
y/n is no celebrity.
so why must she be treated as such?
she sits with her food and files,
but inevitably let's her food goes to waste.
there's a great possibility her client is guilty.
too great of a chance that it clouds her consciousness.
she knows with certainty that she could clear this man's name.
with a few choppy pieces of evidence provided by the prosecutor,
a character witness or two,
and an alibi for at least one murder,
y/n is confident she could finesse his way into release.
but is it worth it?
she isn't sure she wants to.
and while she could tank her defense claim and be sure he serves at least some time,
the possibility isn't even fathomable.
"are you y/n l/n?"
y/n looks up and hurries to close these confidential files before her.
this room was meant to be closed off from the public for this very reason.
yet,
here this stranger stands.
"depends on who's asking."
"luke alvez, fbi."
y/n stares at this gleaming badge and has to stop herself from rolling her eyes.
she knows how these agents are:
arrogant, prideful, entitled.
"okay...any relation to the case?"
"yeah. i actually arrested him."
y/n feels a shred of embarrassment arise,
causing a wave of heat to cover her neck.
"oh."
"no judgment. you're doing your job as well as i am."
y/n gives luke a fake smile,
but the one he wears is stripped of any falsity.
has she ever seen such warm eyes in this color of brown?
she doesn't think so.
y/n wonders how someone in that line of work could stand here with such liveliness in their eyes when he sees nothing but death.
how might she learn from him?
y/n shakes this thought from her head to ask,
"i appreciate it. um, c-can i help you with something?"
"oh, yeah. here...you dropped this on your way in."
luke hands her the court badge she dropped.
she sighs and thanks him for returning it.
in her frazzled state,
she'd dropped the very most important thing of her day.
"good luck today, ms. l/n."
when luke turns on his feet to leave,
y/n feels the return of her dread.
she hadn't realized how it left her in luke's presence.
so she calls out for him and waits for him to stand still.
"you don't...don't hate me? even though i'm defending this man you consider guilty?"
luke waits a moment before answering,
"i don't hate you. i admire your diligence. but...i don't like seeing guilty men walk free."
"what makes you think he's guilty?"
luke chuckles and crosses his arms.
"are you allowed to ask me that?"
"off the record."
he looks around to be sure the place is clear of any lingering eyes or ears.
"part of profiling is reading people. not an ounce of fear or remorse in your guy. seemed...proud of what he'd done and that he'd gotten caught."
"proud?"
y/n echoes.
"perhaps he knows he'll get away with it. you're virginia's best after all, ms. l/n. the power is all in your hands."
y/n hates her job more than anything,
especially now.
look at how cruel she is,
defending this guilty, sick man.
"you know i don't have a choice, right? this is my job."
"there's always a choice. you're brilliant, ms. l/n. i have no doubt you'll make the right one."
luke leaves after this.
now she stares at her work on the table and feels the constriction tighten around her throat,
like barbed wire has taken her vocal chords hostage.
what the hell am i gonna do?