When will my misery end?

-Trapped.

As I started taking it all in, laying on the hospital bed , grief overcame me once more and a fresh batch of tears flowed in a rehearsed rythym. Uncle continued to comfort me , at a certain point I had buried my face against his chest and held on to him as if he was the only thing I ha left in this world. Indeed he was my safe haven. He continued to murmur gentle words to me. We sat together for what felt like years and eventually some kind of peacefulness drifted over me and the tears finally stopped . It was just so painful to me , a whole drunk driver turning my life into complete tatters in a matter of an instant? STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! This word kept on creeping into mind.

I was released after a few hours went by, when aunty had finished signing the discharge papers. On my release from the hospital I was told I'd been placed into the care of my uncle and his wife.

Placed? Oh yha I was an orphan now and I would be being  'placed',into other people's care now.

The day I'd been dreading had come,my parents funeral was a distressing ordeal for me in a number of ways,and it particularly felt like a bigger insult when aunt suggested I sit right in front.Like I would want to see my parents being dropped into a darn hole.I didn't like this at all,but for my parents I had to.Uncle and aunt were seated at either side of me ,and it felt as though they were wedging me in even though they were the only people left for me.The first casket was lowered and it was mom's,grief took charge of me when I remembered how cluster-phobic mom was,and now to think she would be trapped in that dark hole .

I couldnt do this,I wouldn't do this,I refused to be forced to have to watch my parents be treated in this manner especially when they didn't derserve it.