I'm Not That Girl // A. Bridgerton

Heart Stopping

Alina sang softly to herself as she sat in the rocking chair stationed by the window of the nursery. London had been pleasantly peaceful the last few weeks as most of the ton had left the city. True to his word, Anthony had left the day before with the younger children and Violet to Aubrey Hall and Alina was quite sad to see them all go. She had gotten used to Anthony laying beside her and waking up to the sound of him snoring slightly in the morning. Somehow he had forced himself to be a rather light sleeper and when she would rise in the morning and leave the bed, Anthony would shoot awake and ask her what was wrong and if she needed something he would jump from the bed and retrieve it for her. It was as endearing as it was annoying at times. Looking down to her where her baby resided, Alina smiled and ran her hands over her gown. She had just a little over a month left and she would be able to hold the little thing and her arms and she doubted that she would be able to put her baby down once they had arrived. "Just a little longer, my love. We need you to stay put so don't get any ideas." She only received a small kick in response.

"Alina, do you have a moment?" Eloise spoke up from the doorway. Alina looked over to the young Bridgerton and noticed the uncomfortable look she had as she stood just outside of the nursery. Since the end of the season, Alina had come to realize how uncomfortable Eloise was wherever babies were involved. She had tried to ask Alina how she came to be with child but the older girl quickly changed the subject knowing Violet would have her head.

"Of course, if you wouldn't mind helping me up. I'm craving a snack." Eloise simply nodded and sped over and after grabbing Alina's hands she gently pulled. After a few seconds both girls giggled until Alina was steady on her feet.

"Is it always that hard for you to stand?" Eloise asked, amazed.

"Unfortunately, it is. You should see me in the morning, I basically roll like a turtle stuck on their back." Eloise laughed and walked beside her as the two made their way down the hall. "No, what is it that you wanted to speak to me about?"

"Well...it's about Lady Whistledown." Eloise paused, waiting for the usual eye roll and sigh of annoyance that she usually got with anyone else. But nothing came and when she turned to Alina, her sister-in-law was patiently waiting for her to continue. "It's just that, all of the mystery surrounding her and her view on everything was what got me through this season. Do you think she will return next season? I'll need her to help me through everything and if she doesn't return what should I do? Mama won't allow me to skip another season to be ready. Not that I will ever be ready but I don't know what to do, Lina."

"That is indeed a lot for you to be stressed over, El. It's alright to feel as if you aren't ready. No one will fault you for that and not wanting this life because not everyone wants it. Being a girl is unfair in our world, perhaps in the future it will be different and women will be able to be who they want and chase their dreams. Lady Whistledown will return next year, I am sure she has much more to say. She will be here for you, and I would love to discuss her new writings with you when they come." Eloise nodded and once they reached the drawing room Eloise took a seat on one of the couches leaving Alina to take a seat beside Javier.

"Alina, your shoes don't match." Javier teased as he continued to read the latest paper that had been dropped off earlier that morning.

"Really? I've always wanted to know what being a rainbow would be like." Javier chuckled and moved over to give her more room.

"Anthony's letter arrived a few moments ago." Alina reached for a small cake and quickly took a bite before reaching for the letter in her brother's hand, with the seal still intact.

Dearest Alina,

I am sorry that I couldn't be there when you awoke this morning. Hopefully you slept well and got enough rest. I had spent the entire night turning about and I half expected to be met with a pillow strike from you however when nothing came it caused me to miss you even more.