I'm Not That Girl // A. Bridgerton

Oceans Apart

Dear Alina,

Mother has told me that you wrote stating that you made it safely and I wanted to send my own letter along with hers. Everyone here truly misses you, Hyacinth continues to bother Anthony with the name you both have chosen for the baby, even as I write to you know she bothers to ask you for the name.

During Daphne's reception I had asked Lady Danbury if she were Lady Whistledown, turns out my intuition was quite off but you will never believe who has tasked me with finding out who Whistledown really is. The queen! Can you believe it, Alina?! I feel as if I am quite close to finding her. She even wrote about Colin and Marina's engagement and it was surprisingly all good things. Perhaps it is a merchant?

I would love to hear your thoughts. Please come home soon.

-Eloise

Alina giggled as she folded Eloise's letter that had come in that morning. She had been back in Spain for just about four weeks and she had missed hearing the latest theory. After her run in with her father she hadn't seen or heard from him since. All that morning she had been reading the latest news from London. Eloise had sent a Whistledown sheet that had spoken all about Colin and Marina's announcement. Colin had written to her about how Anthony had reacted so harshly. Violet had written to her asking if she was feeling alright and what the doctor had said. The only letters she had yet to open were from Anthony. "Here is another one, my lady." Marie stated as she placed Anthony's newest letter on the table beside her. Alina sighed and stared at the offending parchment. Anthony had sent one every day and she was sure that he would continue until she responded and that was just as likely as snowing.

"Thank you, Marie." She said with a sigh. Marie took a seat beside her lady and grabbed Alina's hand gently.

"I know it is not my place, but are you alright?" Alina squeezed Marie's hand and shrugged slightly.

"Honestly, I don't know. I guess I had forgotten what it was like here. Javier has been kept busy and I have not seen him since we arrived. I am not sure who is worse. My detached father who doesn't want me here or my detached husband who doesn't want me there. What should I do?" Marie thought to herself and as she watched her friend.

"I think you are holding everything in. You have been trying to stay strong for everyone and I think you have forgotten to allow yourself to feel anything. As for your husband...forgive me for what I am about to say, my lady, but he is an asshole." Alina laughed softly as her eyes began to water, this time she didn't try to push away the tears. Instead she allowed a few of them to fall. "But he loves you. Before you disagree with me or get angry, I have seen him. When you were not looking he would watch you, every time he said your name he would smile just enough. Yes, what he did was wrong but he didn't realize his own feelings for you. And I know you have feelings for him. When you had decided to start over and became friends I could see it clear as day. You just have to give him time to see it. When you both hold your child for the first time you two will feel nothing but love."

"You seem quite sure about all this." Marie laughed and wiped her friend's cheek with a handkerchief.

"Of course. I'll even make a deal with you! I will bet you one new book that he will prove that he loves you by the end of the summer." Finally Alina smiled and laughed before nodding.

"Sure, we have a deal." Marie joined her in laughing, missing the sound of the library door opening.

"If it isn't the two most beautiful women in all of Spain." Javier called making his way closer further into the library. He took a seat in the armchair beside his sister and sighed heavily once he sat down.