Something new

07. Living the present

Fluke looked inside the fridge and realized his brother didn't go buy groceries as he asked him the night before when they were dining. He sighed and picked up a lemon, walking to the kitchen counter to slice the fruit and add it to a glass of fresh water. He heard Ohm asking for his brother and right after his voice broke off while insisting on the talk thing. He sighed again and walked to him with the glass in hand.

"Take it. It will make you feel refreshed.", Fluke said referring to the glass he was holding before Ohm.

The taller man was sitting on one of his kitchen's chairs that suddenly looked so small under the massive body. Ohm was a huge man and his presence seemed to fill the tiny apartment. Fluke felt an unexpected warmth in his heart thinking about his lover's image being a constant in his small apartment and he had to suppress a squeal. Probably the same kind people let out when they complete a puzzle.

While Fluke was considering the other's proportions, he didn't notice the arm sneaking around his waist and pulling him closer for a hug. Ohm rested his chin on Fluke's sternum and looked at him with puppy eyes. "You're right, it's refreshing!", Ohm said proud of his play of words, "I do feel better when you're this close to me…", he forced a smile and the youngest could feel the effort this was taking from him. Fluke rested the glass on the table and hugged him back.

"Hey… there is no need to be like this, huh?", he whispered while combing the silky black hair that felt so soft between his fingers.

"How can I not be like this when you look like you're about to dump me?", Ohm asked and Fluke was 100% sure he saw his eyes becoming more glossy like he was about to cry. That made him feel guilty.

"Here I am trying to find the right words so you won't break up with me and you're thinking that I could do the same to you…", he laughed lowly, not really happy with the conclusion, but somehow a bit more confident to say what was on his mind. Ohm wasn't willing to break up with him, so maybe they could really talk about it.

Fluke stepped back, but still inside Ohm's hug and told him the story of his teenage years that were fastly replaced by an precocious maturity.

"This is the reason why I don't make plans for the future, you know? Tee was everything to me, but he wasn't there when I needed him the most.", Fluke sighed, avoiding staring directly into Ohm's eyes.

After listening to the whole story, Ohm wasn't surprised that Fluke seemed to be so cautious about his own feelings. He had been traumatized and still showed the effects of how that influenced his whole lifestyle. He rather play safe than sorry and that was something Ohm could relate without thinking too much. He didn't have a hard past like Fluke, but he also had troubles with trying to open himself to new opportunities and when he stopped to think that if he didn't do this he could never have met Fluke… he sighed and held Fluke's chin between his index and thumb.

"Babe, in case you didn't notice this yet, my name is Ohm Thitiwat. I'm not Tee. I'm a grown up man pretty responsible and in love with–"

"Please don't say it…", Fluke bumped his forehead with Ohm's, trying to get some comfort from each point their body was in touch, which meant almost 90% of his own slender and small one. Since they started the talk Ohm firmly hugged him close and Fluke just leaned on him at each passing second like his instincts knew even before himself that he could trust him.

"Why not?", Ohm asked confused.

"Because this will make things worse when you're not here, Ohm. The conclusion of this story I just told you is that I've learnt not to make plans. If we walk around the city holding hands, if we call each other – he gave Ohm a meaningful look – the "b word", when you're gone in 2 months I'll be devastated. I'll be devastated even if we don't do any of this… because I really, really, – he wanted to say the word, but to protect himself, he chose another one – I like you a lot, Ohm."