what happens when love is stronger ||Natasha Romanoff||

Chapter 20

Previously

"Can we stay here spend the rest of our live ?" Y/n asked

"What ?"

"Can we stay here and spend the rest of our live without problems, without fear, without sadness, just you and me?"

"Of course we can" replied Natasha not very sure of herself.

"So let's do it"

"Let's do it" Natasha repeated, Y/n held out her little finger for Natasha to join hers

"We're not going to do that anyway Y/n" Retorted Natasha laughing

"If you go" Natasha hooked her finger on Y/n's, the promise was made nothing could break it.

Currently

POV Extern

 3 weeks had just passed, a routine was installed in Y/n's life, she woke up, went to train, showered, eat, then the afternoon depended on the rest of the group. She was living crazy love with Natasha but the last few weeks Y/n it was closer to Wanda, Thor and Peter. And without lying Natasha blamed herself for not spending as much time with her as Wanda or Peter could spend. Natasha was distant from the others, Y/n noticed it but don't dare talk about it. 

 They were all watching a movie, they had been there for a good hour, the sun was just starting to set, 

 "Nat.." Y/n whispered to Natasha touching her arm, Natasha looked up and understood that Y/n wanted to talk to her. The two got up to walk to a quieter and more isolated place, 

 Your POV

 "I think we should talk Natasha.." 

 "What's going on ?" Natasha asked not sure

 "I find that you are distant, I don't understand what I did but you are so I would like to understand." I say without stopping 

 "I'm not distant! You're the one avoiding me all day." Natasha answered without looking at me, I don't believe it she puts the blame on you hahaha Venom said. Venom was aware of everything about me, well everything since he arrived, he feels everything I feel, hears all my thoughts, he gives his opinion on certain things. From an outside perspective I hate him and he hates me, people who don't know us would think we hate each other and we can't get along which is the case from time to time, but the reality is that Venom understands me more than anyone, he can be irritating but he will always be with me whether I like it or not. Our relationship I would describe as passive-aggressive, I could fear Venom's reaction knowing what he is capable of so I prefer to acquiesce or ignore any request he makes to me, even if it does not seem reasonable to me, a except eating my friends' heads. I kind of prefer to avoid confrontation with him and ignore him, rather than tackle the problem directly because I don't know what would happen if Venom and I were at war because after all he has power over my body.

 "Natasha you can't say that for weeks you ignore me, hardly talk to me, at night you're not here, in the morning either. So don't say it's me, I'm distant." I wouldn't accept her blaming it on me. 

"I-I'm not distant maybe you should ask questions if you think so, because maybe you're the problem!" Natasha responded by spitting the last words straight into my heart. 

 "Wha-what? I don't understand Nat.." She had touched me I couldn't lie, stretched her out of words for no reason, what had I done? 

 "I'm sorry Y/n/n I didn't mean-I really didn't mean.." Natasha was sorry I saw it in her eyes but I didn't understand what had led her to say such things. 

 "What did I do to you Natasha?!" 

 "Nothing, nothing I-I'm just tired..." she said as she started to walk away from me, 

 "You can't run away from the problem Natasha you know, every time I want to talk about a serious things you walk away or ignore me." 

 "I don't know what you're talking about!" Natasha replied rolling her eyes,  

"Wait let me enlighten you, the time I told you about hydra, or that of the red room, or maybe of Dreykov, or if you continued the dance, on the subject of your nightmares which wakes you up in the middle of the night, or even your family !" 

 "That's enough Y/n !" She answered in a dry tone, 

 "What if I wanted to talk about it?" 

 "The discussion is over!" Natasha continued 

 "I thought you were stronger Natasha, everyone notices that something is wrong with you at the moment, you could say to yourself "Hey if I tried to understand what's wrong to fix it" but no you prefer to run away like you always do it." Ok maybe there was resentment on the other hand in that sentence, I still resented her, but what would that do after all given the point where we were nothing could be worse- 

 "I'm leaving tomorrow for a 2 month mission I'm tired so I'm going to bed bye Y/n. " Natasha said. Ok I I may have been wrong, there was worse. I get it after all its Natasha Romanoff Aka Black Widow why should she share her feelings, her thoughts, her nightmares, but it still hurt how much she could bury it all and ignore her heart. But if I had come to this it may be because of me, who had the idea of ​​getting into a relationship with Black Widow, knowing how much this relationship could hurt so much, jumping off a cliff might hurt me less. I didn't know if she really loved me like before, if we could continue something solid together. She just told me to leave her, she didn't care that she didn't see me for two months, so maybe I was the problem, maybe it's been me all along, that if I wouldn't be with her nothing under that would have happened, maybe I should have finished my mission? You're going to shut up when Y/n because it's a very dramatic moment, we shouldn't rather look her in the eyes pretending to cry and then see her walk away until our vision becomes blurry with tears, then be dramatic by kneeling and crying trying to call her back? 'Cause you just look like a bitch standing up while she's watching you waiting for you to talk. Venom ends up saying seriously, Shit yes sorry wait..

"When were you planning to tell me?" I say looking into her eyes, more dramatic Y/n !

"I..I don't know."

"You weren't planning on telling me? You were planning on leaving and disappearing for two months and coming back like a flower afterwards?" Dramatic Y/n I said not a bitch who puts her in her place.

"I don't know Y/n"

"Where did Fury send you?"

"I can't tell you Y/n" she said lowering her eyes

"Well what can you tell me then?" A silence fills the room, It's your moment Y/n  D-R-A-M-A-T-I-C you understand!

""You even loved me at a time or  you can't tell me that too." Perfect Y/n tears now, I don't want to cry Venom, it's not up to you, he replied. My eyes filled with tears, inside I wanted to kill Venom

"Of course yes !"

"I don't understand then, do you love me ?" I'd be lying if I said I'm not afraid of her answer, silence fills the room, maybe that was the answer to all my questions?