He doesn't speak and just regards the ceiling. Only after a long, a very long time, does he turn to me with something wet in his eyes.
"Honestly, Murong Yu, if you knew it'd be like this today, would you have done what you did? Not killing me, saving me and even letting me go?"
In the silence, I catch the tears glistening in his eyes.
I touch his face with shaking hands but he grabs it.
"What about you? If you knew it'd be like this today, would you have saved me and promised me to help get the throne?"
I laugh, tasting the bitter tang that seems to spread from my heart to my mouth. Finally I reply steadily, "I would."
He caresses my cheek. "As would I."
If time were to turn back on itself and let us return to the moment we first met, let us have another chance to choose, I would still take the throne and he would still lay seige to my city without a doubt.
Our present was chosen by us. We can't blame anyone else.
I observe the face mere inches away from my own. His eyes, his hair his lips; I love every part of him.
He plants a kiss on my lips, a light one, a shivering one, one that lingers on my lips, bringing an overwhelming despair.
This love has always been doomed. Yet, knowing that it's perpetual doom, that it's infinite destruction, the moths still throw themselves into the fire until they meet their very deaths.
If only we could have met in some other way.
___________________
"You say you love me, Xin, but how much do you really?"
"As much as this world is large, as much as nature is beautiful; for the rest of my life, there will only be one in Han Xin's heart."
"I searched for more than twenty years for someone who can share my feelings, who can support me and understand me, and vice versa, but right when I've found him, I have to lose him the next second."
"Why must the Heaven's be like this? If we were going to part forever, I'd rather that we never met."
"I don't care if you're Han Xin or Lin Xin. You must remember that you're mine. Always and forever."
"May we meet again in the next life and never part."
"And may we join hands in this life and regard the beauty of this land."
Our foreheads touch. Our breaths join as one. Our tears flow in silence.
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Time is like water, Murong Yu. Meeting each other in this world of too much war, too much chaos, was our misfortune, yet the single fortunate thing is that we met together.
We have never betrayed each other and no matter the challenges or obstacles, we will always be faithful to each other.
It's just that we have to pay the price for it; to be intimate but never close, to be in love but never together.
__________________
Murong Yu, are you blaming me, or are you begging or are you merely lamenting?
If I hadn't know you then, you never met me and we never joined hands, we wouldn't have to bear the torture of not being able to be together right?
But I don't want that. If this was meant to be, even if I had known that it would be like this, I would still want to meet you and get to know you, even if what lies ahead is unpredictable and we end up on different ends of the world.
Murong Yu, even though our farewell is imminent, I, Han Xin, from my heart to my body, will be yours totally.
___________________
Surely, she had realised that the freedom he had been trying to provide for Huan-er was naught, but what he wanted but could not have himself.
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YOU ARE READING
danmei lines
РазноеThis is basically lines that I copied, and is currently chilling in my clipboard lol The lines here isn't in order, since I would reread some parts of the novel based on my mood, and when I would read that line again, I would copy it and not caring...
