Say My Name (bxb)

Chapter 25: "You Guys Really Messed Up"

"Jamie?"

I looked up at Jem, who looked... sad. I'd gone straight to her room when... She'd come to my room when I called her and garbled some semblance of a sentence and burst out crying.

"What?"

"I've been saying your name like a hundred times. Are you okay, honey?"

I was nursing a bottle of vodka and that alone should tell you how far gone I was. I hated vodka, but it was the only thing I found in the cupboards. Maybe Alan had put it there.

Jem took my hand. "Tell me what happened."

I shrugged. "Davis and I broke up. No big deal."

She took a deep breath. "I was afraid you'd say that."

I shrugged again. "Whatever, I'm moving on."

She carefully wiped a tear from my cheek. "Oh honey."

I was pathetic. A mess. They were right to make fun of me. Silly little Jamie fell in love with the big bad straight wolf. Davis. At this point I wouldn't be surprised if it had all been a game to him.

"Oh god," I grunted. "Do you think his friends dared him to date me?"

Jem sighed. "Jamie, no. Again I'll ask, what happened?"

I rubbed my face with my hand. "Nothing much. Just a normal night, going out with his friends, him doing belly shots off random women while his friends laughed at me when I saw them."

"Those assholes."

I shrugged. "It's not like they were making out."

"Jamie... I'm sorry, honey. Davis is... I think there's something maybe that he's not telling you and he's being an asshole about it."

"Yeah he's telling me he doesn't respect me. He's telling me this whole thing was a joke to him. There's no point in being with someone like him, which by the way, I knew from the start. Why did I let him rope me into it? Why did I even think a straight guy could be gay? Why did I let him in when I knew it was a mistake? Why am I always so stupid? Why – "

Fuck. I couldn't even think about him anymore.

I just wanted to crawl into bed and die.

That's what Jem and I eventually did. We lay in bed together and she held me like the good friend she was, while I cried my eyes out. I would let myself mourn now and move on the next day.

That was the plan.

***

I ignored Davis' stupid texts and avoided him as best I could. Jem had let me stay with her for a day and she even went to my room to get some of my things. She was turning out to be the best friend I'd ever had. When she came back she didn't say much, she just let me be. What I needed was not to think, but to simply exist until I had to go to classes, and when I did, I didn't stop for anyone, I just barged there and then back to Jem's.

Unfortunately, my successful streak at avoiding Davis was bound to break eventually, and it did on the afternoon of the second day.

He was waiting at the door when my Photography in History lecture ended. There was no way I could pretend I didn't see him, so I steeled myself and walked in that direction.

"Jamie," he said, stopping me. Of course he would make this even worse than it already was.

"I don't want to talk to you," I said coldly.

"Please let me explain. It was just stupid timing and the guys – "

I stared him down. "I. Don't. Care. Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth?" He looked bewildered at the ice in my tone. Good. "You can go back to your friends now and have fun. Really, have all the straight fun you want, Davis, because nothing's changed here."