Ill [ Inanimate Insanity AU ]

9

Post 1462 - Fan

As much as I don't want to admit it.. Life's been passing on without Test Tube.

The two shadows taking care of me have been giving me this strange liquid. It tasted tangy and vile, but they told me it would make me feel better. So far, I haven't been having hallucinations, and the dreams that I have are not nearly as bad as before. Good.

I like writing on here. I know it's just the notes in my phone, and nobody really sees it, but.. It's still nice, right? Sometimes it's just nice to document, to create, even when nobody but yourself knows about it.

Atleast, that's how I feel.

The shadows have been lessening. In my dreams, I've been able to see flickers of the shadows who have been taking care of me. Not often, and just for a split second, but it's definitely there.

"Fan, time to go to the doctor again," one of the shadows called in a raspy, nonchalant voice from the room over.

Oh, right. I have to go to the doctor frequently to get a check up on my condition. Apparently they're the ones making the liquid I talked about earlier.

I walked out my room and over to the regular living area. They'd renovated the place- they changed it to be kind of like a.. Makeshift house, if you will. Well, you wouldn't call it renovating, they more like put some couches down and a TV on the counter and called it a day. I can't blame them- I don't want to get rid of Testy's stuff either.

They did the same with all the other rooms except mine and Testy's. Yeah, they didn't even think about it- I would have killed them if they had even glanced at the door.

I-I don't actually know if you can kill the shadows, but you know what I mean. And.. I think they're objects under there. Like.. people objects.

Anyways, we walked to the doctor's office and checked in. I had to wait for a bit, and I could just FEEL the confusion and negativity RADIATING off of the other waiting people at the sight of my eyeless eye sockets, but I didn't really care. Wait.. I could see? I.. er.. maybe I'm dreaming.

When I were called in, I just listened to music on my phone, headphones in. Most people wouldn't think of me as the music type, but nothing's wrong with a little song every now and then, right?

I had on a shuffle playlist. It had.. What? 700 songs in it? Something like that. So most of them I hadn't heard.. It was a very calming playlist, helps me fall asleep most nights.

The doctor had me lay down on this examination bed. It always made me feel uncomfortable, but I knew I had to do this.

They asked me a few questions, felt my chest.. Everything was good, according to them. They said to keep taking the medicine and come back immediately if I vomited or lost memory.. Blah blah blah.. More symptoms of a problem and side effects and whatever.

We had just got back to the lab when a song came on. It echoed in my ears, and it only took me a few seconds to realize it was the song Test Tube sang to me in that dream.

"I know, you belong.. To somebody new.."

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. I could hear her voice singing it. I'm hearing things. No, no no.. I can't listen to this. It'll make me sad again. I'll.. I-.. Test Tube wouldn't want me to be that.

But I didn't skip it. I had every reason to. It was just.. A beautiful song.

I could hear her voice reverberate in my mind.

"Although.. We're apart.. You're a part.. Of my heart.."

SHIT! Fuck, no.. I can't cry.. Not now..