Campus

Chapter 19 - Cotton Factory

Alyssa POV:

After my chat with Luke we sat in silence both studying for a while. I left first, he offered me a smile of encouragement when I left and I made a mental note to tell Mera he is an absolute gem.

As soon as I walk through my dorm door I begin pacing and picking at my nails.

Should I meet him?

I'm battling with myself, I want to see him but I don't want to risk his future for what we have right now. Seeing him today just reiterated how much I crave him, not just physically but emotionally, he makes me feel safe and wanted, and when we're together everything else just blurs.

Remember what Luke said, 'What if it turns out perfectly?'

"Fuck it." I puff my chest out at the decision to try shake the nerves off.

It's half past six so I have enough time to get changed and meet him. I stick with casual clothes, he didn't say what we would be doing so I don't have a dress code. I slip my favourite Levi's on with a white singlet crop. I run my fingers through my hair, leaving it in it's natural curls but I push my sunglasses on my head holding it out of my face. The sun's still up and setting late at the moment so I still have use for them.

I give myself a once over and check my phone, I've got twelve minutes till seven.

Right Alyssa, you've got this.

Part of me is trying to channel Tisha out of the depths of her coffee date with Satan because I need some extra confidence to battle my subconscious right now.

Locking my dorm door behind me I take a deep breath steadying the building anxiety inside my chest. Outside the wind carries the smell of summer ending and autumn beginning, the trees around the campus starting to turn warm shades of yellow and orange. This is the best time of year in my opinion, the mornings have a fresh chill but the sun is still fierce during the day. I round the corner by the dining hall when I spot Nathan sitting at a window seat with some friends, he looks up and offers me a wave, I wave back but now he's moving for the doors that exit the building.

"Hey Alyssa, where are you going?" he questions, coming close.

"Oh hey, I'm just going for a walk." I don't tell him I'm going to meet James, not after their hiccup the other day.

"It's getting late, do you want me to come with you?"

Initially I thought Nathan was into Lucy after he seemed so interested in her when we took our grocery trip. But since I've stopped hanging out with James and studying more with him I've got the feeling he's trying to flirt with me.

"No, no, I'm okay, I just want some alone time." He cocks his head to the side studying my face.

Please believe me.

"Hmm, okay." He rubs the side of my arm before pulling me in for a hug and planting a kiss on the top of my head.

The gesture doesn't sit well in my stomach, it's too affectionate for friends and I think he senses my unease because he lets me go with a questioning look.

"Text me if you change your mind."

"Mhmm, will do."

Definitely will not.

I make my break away from Nathan, not without some reluctance on his part. I can feel him watching me as I walk away but I'm just ignoring it. I pull my phone out to check the time. Nathan stole precious minutes and it's now seven and I still have to get across campus. I increase the pace, building into a steady speed walk almost jog. I don't want James to leave because he thinks I'm not coming. I feel a prickle of sweat form on my forehead as I push my legs to move faster.