Campus

Chapter 24 - Doll's Diner

Alyssa's POV

My return to normal school life was as expected, I felt the stares on me most of the day. Luckily I don't have psychology today so I don't have to face James. I saw Nathan passing by in the library whilst I was catching up on the work from the classes I missed. I went to wave at him but he didn't even look at me, unlike everyone else, their judgmental eyes have been glued to me all day. 

I know I shouldn't want to wave at him, but I crave a familiar face even after the incident in our stats class the day I found out about the picture. He obviously had seen it and it bummed me out he was punishing me for it. 

I know he doesn't like James, but I thought he would at least still somewhat talk to me after I've been embarrassed by everyone on campus, but obviously not. I feel nauseous, everyone has either been ignoring me or judging me and I feel it. I feel stupid and the stares and whispers are a constant reminder. I can feel the dark clouds forming in my mind.

He knew about that photo..."Finally realised what an ass he is hah?"  That's what he said, He could've been a good friend and warned me but instead he made me suffer, because I trusted James. 

The nausea is escalating into spiraling knots in my stomach as my mind is flooded with negative thoughts.

You did this to yourself, you should've known better, you should be ashamed sending a slutty photo like that, no one cares about you they only care about your body. Why would anyone want to be associated with someone as desperate as you.

I try to shake the negative thoughts from my head but everyone staring at me makes them take up permanent residence in my brain. The pain from the last few days is surging back into me. I hate myself for being so stupid. I throw everything into my bag and make an escape from the suffocating library.

I hit the cool outside air and feel the rain droplets pelting against my bare arms, each drop stings on impact, a reminder that I am not numb yet, that I can still feel.

No one will see my tears if it's raining.

One by one the tears stream down my face with each negative thought I have of myself. I slump my bag over my shoulder and make my way back to the dorm, hoping the chill of the rain will freeze my feelings inside me. I don't want to feel anything anymore.

I am halfway to my dorm when I no longer feel the rain but I can still hear it. I look up and see that Daniel is holding an umbrella over my head. I'm surprised to see him, surprised anyone would want to be seen with me.

"I am sorry about what happened" He has a soft smile on his face, still holding the umbrella above me. "It's nice to see you back out though, I'm a bit concerned as to why you're walking in the rain."

I've always liked Daniel, he keeps to himself mostly, not much of a talker. Whenever I was around he would just nod or smile nothing more. He's very different from James, still confident but in a different way, so self assured that he doesn't need to say anything. I would guess he is around six feet, he has a shaved blonde head with a beanie over it, piercing blue eyes, almost icy, one dimple on his left cheek, not the right which is so fitting for him because why would he be symmetrical and balanced, of course he would be different.

I sniffle a bit, feeling the chill of the rain seeping through my layers of skin.

Just a little further rain and you'll reach my soul, please numb me, I don't want to feel.

When I don't answer Daniel he stops and unzips his bomber jacket placing it loosely on my shoulders, it's not an affectionate gesture more of a big brother gesture and I almost let myself smile at the gesture, but I don't, I can't let myself feel anything.