| the future is bright cuz it's filled with fire | daryl dixon |

|2. a doe|

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DARYL SPENT most of his time hunting out in the woods near his camp. he seemed to not know that he was crucial to his people and without him they wouldn't have food on their table. that's partially because they took him for granted and thought of him as nothing but his brother's shadow. that's what he thought he was too. he always was an outcast, so he always followed his brother merle around. daryl was manipulated into thinking that nobody could ever care about him exept for his older sibling. merle told him many times that blood is thicker than water even though they were raised by the same cruel father.
he always stayed in one place. his life never changed. either he was scared of his parent or he was on his brother's leash. daryl never really did anything in his life. he had never had a real job, never had fallen in love, never had a best friend, never respected and loved himself.
he always had a shield though, a facade of a redneck that doesn't care about anything or anyone. it was very hard to notice that he was one of the most sensitive people around, but well, he had sharp edges.
there didn't seem to be any meaning to his life at times, but then you saw him spent his days at the forest, hunting, so the children wouldn't starve to death. that's just how he was.

daryl was a great hunter and he knew any given forest like the palm of his own hand. he placed his foot before the another, making almost no noise. he was a natural. the sun was peaking at him curiously between the trees burning his face ever so slightly. sweat was dripping from his skin making his short brown hair a little damp. the temperature seemed to be much higher than the day before. it also lacked yesterday's soft cold breeze.
in daryl's hands there was a crossbow that he always hunted with. you almost never seen him without it. that's propably part of the reason why he didn't seem very likable. but he didn't care. he was always in his own bubble, either with merle or alone. he was okay with being a loner, which didn't mean he was happy. he didn't really understood what the word "happy" meant. it was all the same to him. he didn't even cared that the apocalypse happened. didn't change much in his life, which sounds crazy, but it was in fact very true. it was survival then, it's survival now.

a single arrow left it's home immediately after the hunter's eyes peeped a squirrel on a lower branch of a young oak tree. it fell to the ground, hit and unmoving. daryl forced the arrow out of the little body. he then cleaned the bloody arrow with leafs and put it away where it belonged on his back. he picked the squirrel off the ground and took it with him.
the man only walked a couple steps when he heard a noise on his right side. he turned to look at the source of the sound, with his crossbow raised.
his eyes opened wide and shock found it's way onto his face.

there was a woman. her eyes looking at him in shock. she only had a dirty, covered in blood white t-shirt and black underwear on. she was barefoot and her long, skinny legs were almost entirely covered in bruises, as were her arms and her face. her brown hair was tangled and dirty. she was standing completely still, looking at man without even blinking. daryl thought that she looked like a doe meeting its eyes with the hunters. scared to death. he was always cautious of strangers, even before all of this, but something about the sight of this girl made him lower his crossbow. he could be a hunter to animals, but not this beaten up, scared to death woman. he didn't want her to be afraid of him. he knew that he should bring her to his group. there were people there who could tend to her wounds and clothe her. so he decided to speak, even though he had no idea what to say to not scare her off.
"hey, i've got a camp about a mile away" the woman flinched at the sound of his voice like she just heard a gunshot. something about that reaction wasn't normal and daryl knew that. it could've been ptsd or shock. he wondered what happened to her and why was she dressed the way she was - barely. the darkest of thoughts crossed his mind immediately. "what the fuck do i do?" he thought.
"i can take ya there. there are people who will help you" he said while raising his hand in an attempt at a calming gesture.
she backed away into some trees. she put her hands in fists and squeezed them as hard as she could until her skin was snow white. she closed her eyes and cried.
this made daryl feel so helpless. he didn't know what to do with this girl and it made him so angry. he felt like he had a new responsibility and he suddenly hated that. "im not the right person for this shit" he thought. he didn't give up though.
"i'm sure the women there will get ya somethin' to wear, make ya somethin' to eat" he said that, thinking the girl might be more trusting when he mentions the women. he seemed to see that his gender was the root of women's pain.  she looked at him with her doe eyes trying to read his mind. then her eyes got wild and dark. she shook her head aggressively like in a tic. something snapped in her and she ran like hell the other way.
"h-hey!" daryl called after her, but it was no use.
"what a nutjob" he thought "can't help someone who don't want your help"
after she ran away he thought that she was hopeless.
he thought everyone was.

the woman thought that too. after all how could one not? how could there be hope in this world? pain and suffering was all that there was here. and this beautiful forest... quiet and peaceful. it was nothing but a trap to her now.
she wouldn't fall for it again.
the hunter. he was a trap too. there were no heroes.
she was in a panic. she didn't know where to go, what to do. she kept circling around the woods and kept looking back. "where are they? where are they?" racing thoughts were taking over her mind. "are they coming? is he?" fear. how it can take control over your body and mind. she was running barefoot faster and faster telling herself that someone was coming. not the dead. the alive.
she thought that she was strong just a few days before. that she was a survivor. she was the only that made it back home. but then she was suddenly nothing. somebody could take her power just like that. what is a survival if not somebody who keeps the hell on earth going? the dead aren't the only rotten ones. she was too. she felt worms crawling on her skin everywhere their hands once touched her.
she felt sick to her stomach. her head pounding. was it a fever? she felt like vomiting, but there was nothing in her body to vomit. she wanted to vomit out her thoughts. spit out her brain so she wouldn't think. but she had to, cause that's what humans do.
her mind was going insane. million thoughts per second. she had nothing. she propably was a fool to not follow the man. she hadn't eaten in days and everything was stolen from her.

the day of fear and panic had finally passed and the numbness she so strongly desired came. depression took control of her body and completely changed the woman's mind. she sat on the ground with her back to a tree. she was half sleeping all the time now. during the night it wasn't even cold anymore. the temperature was rising and rising. but who would worry about global warming when dead people walk the earth? she lied there another whole day. unmoving. she didn't eat or drink. she was dying. she knew that. maybe she had a sun stroke? maybe she was bit and didn't know? or maybe the depression made her so lazy and so hopeless she was slowly killing herself.

then the dead came. a dozen of them, maybe. she didn't move. and they didn't see her. didn't smell her. they walked past her growling. they were obviously drawn to something like a moth to a light. and after they were gone she moved slightly to look where they went.
she now knew what drew them.
light. fireplace? was that the camp? the hunter's camp? he didn't say where it was. she didn't know where she was.

then she heard screams.

she felt a purpose in them.
so she ran. to help. and that's how she learned she didn't think it was hopeless at all. it was a lie she told herself to stop hurting. but it won't work if it's not true. so she had to help them and help herself.

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