|4. trauma, grief and other demons|

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THE WOMAN woke up. she found herself laying on the most comfortable bed she has layed on in days. she opened her eyes and took a long look around. it was dark, but she could see enough to figure out she was in the rv. the one she saw before in the camp. her eyes took in all of it. she looked to her right and saw a water bottle and a protein bar on the bedside table. she quickly grabbed at it mindlessly, drank almost half of the bottle and ate the snack, which nowadays was a luxury meal. she of course hadn't eaten in a while, but this was enough at the moment. she dropped her feet on the floor and finally noticed that she had socks on. she followed that trail and realized she also had some black sweatpants on and a baby blue tee. most of her bruises seemed to be tended to. she also had some bandages on. and then her eyes widened. she slipped off her pants a little bit to see her underwear. she saw a pair of some clean white panties loosely hanging on her boney hips like on a clothing hanger.
"oh..." she said to herself when she realized somebody saw her whole body. it made her uncomfortable. this whole situation did.
she also realized now how skinny she was. just skin and bones, she thought. she took another sip of the water and decided to leave the rv. her hands were trembling as she pushed the door open. she felt like a kid on the first day of school. she looked back, like she was supposed to see her mom right behind her, encouraging her. but all she saw was the darkness of the inside of the rv. and outside there was a sea of strangers. "the strangers that tended to my wounds, fed me and gave me clothes" she reminded herself. these people weren't like other strangers. right? she inhaled the air from outside as she opened the door. she immediately heard voices and saw faces turning her way.
"hey, hold on! let me get you some shoes" she heard a male voice, which startled her and she closed her eyes shut to escape the scary situation that was someone offering her shoes. why did she react like that? she asked herself. she didn't know what was wrong with her, but she knew who to blame for it. she sat on the stairs of the rv. she wrapped her arms around herself to calm down, but just hearing someone talk right now was too much. she wanted to vaporize into the thin air. she didn't like the feeling of being seen by others. she wanted to pretend what was happening to her wasn't real and that was impossible to do when there were people looking at her and saying things. she told herself that she needs to be grateful for these people and their kindness, but now she felt angry. angry because she existed. tears left her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. to others she looked like a little girl. they knew she had suffered some kind of trauma. that much was obvious.
it was hard to believe that she saved somebody's life yesterday, when now she seemed barely alive.

"glenn, are you crazy? you're scaring her" said another, deeper voice.
"sorry!" he yelled in a whisper. nothing they were saying made any sense to her. she just kept her eyes shut and cried.
"hey... shh..." said a more feminine voice closer to her.
"it's okay, you're safe"
"yes, honey, nobody is gonna hurt you here"
she opened her eyes slowly and looked at the women's faces. and after a while  of looking through her blurry visioned teary eyes and unhinged mind she recognized the mother from before and saw another woman smiling at her. she had a buzz cut and a kind looking face, with bruises on it. it rang too close to home for the girl. she finally calmed down again, feeling better with the presence of these women and an older men. an asian boy in a baseball cap came back to give her shoes and she put them on her feet with the struggle of her trembling hands.
"i'm lori" said the mother "this is carol, dale and that's glenn"
"you wanna tell as your name?" the older men named dale said.
she was too stressed to say anything, her throat was closed up. she just looked up at him sadly. he seemed to understand what was happening. he looked... kind.
"okay, is there anything you need?"
as she didn't remember much she just looked back at the women. then she saw something disturbing behind them.
there was a blonde woman kneeling over a dead body. she was completely quiet, tears spilling out of her eyes like waterfalls. the girl after noticing that scene, she immediately shut her eyes again.
"let's take her somewhere else" dale whispered to the others. but the young woman suddenly said one single word to the group.
"h-hunter"
"what?" lori asked.
"is he... here?" she thought she saw him yesterday but now she wasn't so sure. maybe he was like a mirage. she wanted to think that he was actually trying to help her and that he didn't lie in the forest.
"who?"
"a hunter, huh? hmm... is that maybe daryl?" said the older men. he turned to younger one "glenn, why don't you get daryl?"
"on it" glenn said a bit sarcasticly.
he jogged away and after a little while you could hear him rasing his voice.

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⏰ Last updated: Oct 10, 2022 ⏰

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