Barb Zaneson's Miscellany

Qualifying Round - The Bonus

“Here, sir. The golden demon that you asked us to find.” Annatalia pulled a glowing demon figurine from a blood-stained velvet bag. She pushed the bag back into a secret pocket in her patched cloak, and handed the figurine to the king's most exalted sorcerer.

“Hmm, that. I'd forgotten about that.” The sorcerer took a few gold coins out of a bowl on his bookshelf, and handed them to Annatalia. “Here you go.”

Annatalia's husband Brutus stepped forward, clanking in his armor. “Is that all? Finding that cursed thing took us eight months. We almost died fourteen times.”

“Hmm?” The sorcerer placed the golden demon on a cluttered shelf of magically glowing artwork, which covered one wall of his tower room. Spiderwebs covered the dustiest objects.

Brutus repeated, “Almost died. Fourteen times.”

“Hmm. Yes, well. But you're alive now, and that's what matters.” The sorcerer smiled at them, showing gold teeth under his wispy white mustache.

Annatalia rubbed the chilly coins in her hand. “Sir, I believe my husband is trying to say that you might wish to pay us just a bit more, for all the trouble we've gone through.”

“Hmm. Well, I suppose I could give you a small bonus.” He went back to his bookshelf and looked through a collection of ruby colored jars. He selected one. “Here. Hold out your hand.”

Annatalia wished that she had worn gloves, but she held out her bare hand.

The sorcerer tipped the jar, and shook it. Onto Annatalia's hand fell a dead spider.

Brutus clanked his fingers into fists. “You call that a bonus?”

The wizard narrowed his eyes and slammed the jar back onto the shelf.

“Oh, please, sir. Pardon my husband's insolence. He knows little of the value of magic. We are entirely satisfied with the bonus, and we're leaving now. Thank you.” She whispered, “follow me,” to Brutus and led him out of the sorcerer's chamber.

The sorcerer called to them, “Mmm. Good travels.”

Annatalia shut the heavy stone door.

Brutus said, “We should have taken back that golden statue. A few lousy coins and a dead spider?”

“My dearest, this is why you fight monsters, and I collect arcane knowledge. Because I notice subtle signs.” She pulled out an empty scroll case and pushed the spider into it.

“I noticed the old guy wanted to blast us, just now. But we'd have won.”

“Possibly. But you didn't notice these misty rings on the spider's legs, or the green tint to its eyes.” She shut the case.

“So it's a fancy shmancy dead spider. So?”

“So, I can brew it into a potion. And we can drink it.” She placed the encased spider in her secret pocket.

“Then what?”

“Then, for the next year, we become immortal. Unkillable. Completely.”

Brutus shifted, clanking. “Huh. I guess that is a bonus. But he still should have paid us more. You know I almost died fourteen times?”

“Yes, dearest, you've told me.”