My Testimony [ON HAITUS]

Overview: Season 1

Confession time. I've been told I have a talent for writing, and actually really enjoy writing, but I never been able to effectively write out my testimony. I've tried several times before now, and it never seemed to come out right.

So this is truly in God's hands and I'm trusting Him to make sure everything that needs to be said will be said in the way that He wants it to be said. Real quick before I finally start, a quick note I always give before sharing my testimony with anyone: my story is. . . not an average one, if there is such a thing. There will be things in it that seem unbelievable, even crazy, but I promise I am telling you the fullest truth I can possibly tell. I hope I have gained your trust enough that you know and believe that, but it's up to you on whether you believe it or not. Alright. . . let's do this.

I was born in Fort Collins, Colorado to a Christian family. I grew up going to church and having the head knowledge about Jesus, God, and the Bible; it would be a while yet, though, before it became "heart" knowledge.

The first ten years of my life, I was a very different person. I was selfish. I craved attention and control; nothing was enough for me really. I had no true friends, or at least, I hadn't considered them friends. I considered them followers. I was also manipulative.

In later years, I would continually be told that I had a talent with words both on paper and vocally. When I was younger, I used this to my advantage at the expense of others. No one really knew though. . . if you asked my parents, they might say I was quiet and sweet, but I wasn't actually in my heart.

Everything changed in first grade, in the form of a girl named Cierra. She was a Christian, or at least claimed to be and backed it up with actions. She reached out to me and, even though I treated her no differently than my other classmates, there was a connection there that I hadn't felt before then. Cierra was kind to me even when it wasn't returned, considered me a friend even when I didn't, and was unusually wise for a first grader. She taught and showed me things I had never thought of or seen before, and I found myself opening up to someone for the first time. She became my best friend and mentor.

However, I had not changed and, for selfish reasons, I turned against her. We later made up, but it was never the same after that and we lost touch when my family moved to Virginia. I don't think I ever got to tell her that the kindness she had shown me had influenced me, even if it was just a little bit, to give my life to Christ at a VBS that summer of 2010.

Through second and third grade, though, I would consider Cierra basically a traitor, even though she did nothing wrong. Despite the fact that I had given my life to Christ, I was just as selfish in Virginia as I was in Colorado. Looking back, I wonder sometimes if, at the time, I had truly been seeking a relationship with God or a ticket into Heaven.