~Thankfully Unrequited~

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by daisys001

by daisys001

I often wonder what it'd be like
If I met you just a bit before him
Two twins looking exactly the same
So much alike in most ways.

The one so brash and as bold as he pleased
Always flaunts his ways, his control over me
Fear not, for it was always out of love,
I loved him so, and then I saw you.

He was wonderful- but so were you,
So alike in auburn hair and sly eyes,
Always smiling- always interrupting,
But somehow endearingly.

A few months passed with the angrier twin,
Honestly, I was mad, he never revealed his brother,
For, and keep this a secret, I found him quite endearing.

His jokes, his laugh, his gentleness,
My current lover simply doesn't match up.
I hate myself for it, but I cannot deny my love.
I look forward to seeing him everyday,
Just as I do my current lover.

I hate myself.
I hope the world knows it.
I hate myself. Me. All of me.

A runaway heart, so dedicated, yet so experimental,
Loving the one twin, but still lusting for the other.
Im convinced the other feels the same, but that cannot be revealed, please, never ever.

If that were to happen,
And do I even want to say it?
The judgement of friends, everyone, to myself.
What would become of us?

Nothing.
Cause whether I like it or not, there can and never will be an 'us.'

I can't dump him and date the other,
It's just not right.
I love Hikaru. I'm dedicated to him. I love him.
Or is this all just a mantra in my head?

Kaoru.
Secretly hates himself, hugs feel like a million kisses. I'll never have the pleasure of having any of those.
Everytime I'm near him I feel protected and safe.
No one can hurt me when I'm with him.
But can I ever truly be with him? No.

I guess I'll wait for the rest of my life,
Secretly daydreaming,
Secretly lusting,
For the other twin.

They're not interchangeable, that's for sure.
I love it when they mistake Kaoru for Hikaru,
When it's just the two of us, of course.
For just for a quick second I can pretend that
Oh, just for a second.
Just one.
That we're truly together.

This isn't right of me, but who else will know?
I'll marry my boyfriend Hikaru, be comfortable with him,
My best friend Kaoru will always be close.
I wish the titles were interchangeable, though they never can be.

Kaoru or Hikaru,
Hikaru or kaoru,
So much between the two.
Of course i end up liking both.
And end up hating myself eternally.

My Interpretation:
The narrator is dating Hikaru but secretly lusts for Kaoru even though she loves Hikaru and knows it's wrong and she despises herself for her unwanted feelings.