Entry 3: Old Start, New Beginning

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  I always had the feeling something bad would happen. Well, honestly, I knew something bad was going to happen. I just did not know it was going to be, because of me.

Tenth grade. The time of writing this book is now. I wonder if I'll ever be able to look back at this and wonder "Man, it all could've been different." I already wonder that, but I mean when I'm like nineteen or twenty. I hope that's the case. Then, that'd show that I've grown as a person.

  One day on the bus, I noticed a girl staring at me. Once I locked eyes with her, it's been the same way every time I got on the bus. A few weeks after I noticed her, she sat in the back of the bus. Ironically in my seat. She did not even know it was mine, funny enough.

  I'll skip all the filler for you. Long story short, we started dating one day. Imagine that. Someone dating worthless; piece of shit me. Crazy, huh?

About five to seven weeks after Iris and I started dating, I noticed someone in a server that my friends made. It was Emily. I texted "Hey" to her. I thought it was a glitch when it allowed the message to send. I thought she blocked me. All she did was delete our direct messages.

  We talked for a bit. It was... refreshing yet it hurt me a lot. Again, sorry, I can't go into detail of the messages, so you'll just have to guess how it was. I tried texting her again. No answer. The next day? No answer. The day after that? No answer again. Oh, well. I tried. This thing that happened, the event that I created, changed how I see almost everything. I noticed how... fragile things can be at times. Especially the mind.

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