"Nayyyy !, relax I'm about to board the plane." I whisper into my phone trying to comfort my ma.
"I know Anak, pero it's been 5 years since you've been back to the Philippines." She says
Seemingly shuddering. "Are you sure you want to come back here ?." "Mahal, don't return if it's gonna hurt you more." "Please, I'm begging you, I can always visit you in America. You don't have to bring back bad memories to be with your family we will always be with you."
She cries into the phone.
A single tear falls out my left eye.
I never thought about the pain my trauma caused to my family.
They never want me to be in pain, so they carry part of MY BURDEN along with them.
I wipe my tear away and clear my throat.
"Nay, wag mo akong alalahanin." I say in faltering Tagalog.
"I'm ok ma, I'm working on it."
I AM really working on it. It might be kinda uncomfortable to talk about my daddy issues with my therapist but It has been helping.
I just really miss my home. Nay and Jacob(my little brother) have visited me many times over the past five years but I miss the Philippines.
I miss the Tiyos and Tiyas that helped raise me-I miss my grandparents-I miss waking up to the smell of my nay's cooking-I miss my forever home.
"Nay my flight is about to close boarding I'll call you when I land in Manila." I say.
"See you soon anak, Mahal na mahal kita."
I wait for her to hang up first then replace my boarding pass, that lay in my pant pocket, with my phone.
I walk over to check-in, greeting the strikingly tall Sikh man that seemed to be the attendant
"Ok sir, I see this is you second time traveling on Future Airlines, I'm glad you enjoyed your flight and I hope you enjoy this flight too." He remarks.
A half forgotten memory of my trip to Lagos,Nigeria 3 years ago returns.
THAT GIRL——, her beautiful eyes still grazed my mind often. Her occasionally return always blessed me with a smile.
What I would give to see her again.
What I would give to KISS her again.
what I would give to have her HOLD MY HAND again.
YOU ARE READING
I want you to hold my hand
RomanceAda Awolowo is a 22 year old recent college graduate from Lagos, Nigeria. A few months prior to her graduation Ada had a dream of a man telling her to go to the Philippines. A trip was planned for after her graduation. A unfortunate event occurs an...
