Love You Untill I Couldn't

Chapter 4

If three years ago, someone had told David that he would be in a single-stalled loo in the college being fucked from behind by Roan. He probably would have laughed at them and sent them to a mental Hospital. But Right now, he’s wondering if he should do that to himself, because he’s obviously not dreaming. Roan was fucking him

But no, he thinks as he moans, comes against his will and looks forward into the dirty mirror, where he can see his utterly debauched face and can feel Roan's fingers clinging to his hips. Roan balls slapped wetly against David’s arse as their gasps filled the room. This was happening. This was actually happening, and—

And it was stopping, because Roan gave out a last stuttering groan and he felt it in his soul as Roan filled him up and leaned his forehead against the back of David’s neck. His sweat-soaked black hair hung down, tickling his shoulders, as they both breathed heavily.

“Fuck, that was good,” breathed Roan at last, breaking the now awkward silence between them.

“Yeah,” was all David could think to say. 

They stayed that way for a moment, David still clinging to the sides of the sink and Roan seeming perfectly happy to stay leaning against him, when a loud knock rang out, followed by an angry, “What the hell is taking so long in there?!” Roan made a strange snorting noise, which David soon realised was him laughing, as he slowly pulled out and started cleaning him with the toilet paper.

David froze, watching Roan in the mirror in case and Roan smirked behind him.

He quickly cleaned himself and pulled his pants back on—David neither of them had removed their shirts to begin with—and avoided each other’s eyes as Roan unlocked the door and they filed outside. An annoyed-looking Sean was standing outside, and he raised his eyebrows at the both of them in a knowing way. David grimaced, but Roan peered around him at the man and said "Don't worry it's just sex, and someone willingly" Roan snickered.

David stuck his hands into his back pockets—It was so wrong. But he doesn't have the mind to stop it.

Sean gave him a sympathetic smile. As he walked out of the washroom with Roan.

David heaved a sigh. What has his life scummed to. He felt tears in his eyes. He felt dirty. He felt used. How is he supposed to cope. Roan is finally noticing him. But this was not what he wanted. But he could let it to never happen again.

It happened again.

In fact, it happened about thirty one  more times within the three months after their night at the hotel. which was a record for David. Not the amount of sex—when he’d first figured out his sexuality, he’d gone out to clubs nightly—but the amount of sex with one singular person. Sure, He never dated. He had one night stands with people who looked like Roan.

But now he had Roan.

It was not the Roan treated him roughly but it wasn’t a relationship. It wasn’t anything. Really. But they can't let go of the sexual tension between each other. Everytime they after the hotel accident they were all over each other. David doesn't know who initiates first but somehow they would end up kissing or blowing each other.

“Fuck, Roan, we can’t—”

“We can, though.”

“No, we don’t have time,  your friends—”

“Can wait. Or would you rather I leave you like this?”

David groaned.

“Let me take care of you,” Roan whispered, kissing him again. David loved kissing Roan; it was every cliche strung together, fireworks and toe-curling and breathtaking.

“Fine,” he said in response. Roan chuckled.

“Really?” he asked sarcastically. “Just ‘fine’? Not, oh, please Roan, take me to bed and ravish me—”

“Shut the fuck up.”

They looked at each other and started laughing. David had always known that Roan was funny but he didn't think it was possible with him. But now the little jokes the teasings.He liked it. He liked it all

David stopped laughing, however, when Roan reclaimed his mouth and slid his hand down into his trousers, taking him in his hand.

“Oh, fuck,” gasped David, “yeah—”

It was over quickly; they hadn’t met up in a while, in a week at least, and David hadn’t been with anyone but his hand since. Thinking about Roan. Not that he could tell him.  

Roan smiled at him as they cleaned themselves and zipped their trousers back up, a genuine smile instead of his snarky teenage-esque smirks. It threw David off momentarily, and he looked away. He fell in love all over again.

They were in music club room. At the College. Everyone had already left. And David being the president of the club stayed back to look at the events list. He was about to leave to meet Daisy and Ken at some  restaurant when Roan had come in, talking nonsense about some history topic he found ridiculous. David had listened politely for what felt like hours before saying he had to go, but Roan had just smiled and pushed him back into the desk, whispering apologies about not coming over all week and blaming Sean.

“Roan?”

Roan blinked and brought his eyes back to David. His brows were wrinkled in what looked like worry. 

“Er, yeah?”

“I have to go dinner ,” David said softly, sliding his fingers through Roan’s and leaving their linked hands dangling between them. “With Daisy and Ken, wanna come with me?”

“Oh, No,you do, uh—”

A knock on the door caused them to jump apart seconds before it opened, revealing none other than Ken Johnson. He stared at the two of them for a moment, considering, before seeming to shrug to himself and look at David.

“Daisy and I have been downstairs for like, ten minutes, and she wanted me to come check on you, so…” he trailed off, looking between the two of them. David cleared his throat and combed a hand through his hair, then brought it back down to his side, not wanted to draw attention to the fact that he probably looked a right mess.

“Sorry, I had, er, something to discuss with Payne,” Roan replied, proud of himself for that wonderful coverup. Ken, however, did not look impressed.

“Right,” he said slowly, tilting his head to look at David. “Nice to see you again, Payne,” he said to him. Huh? "Bye"

David can't help but feel heart broken. He cleared his throat again. “Sure.”

Roan smiled and turned walking down the hallway. David opened his mouth and closed it again as he looked from Roan to Ken

"You love him, don't you?,” asked Ken , with a sympathetic smile.

" Unfortunately Yes" David said still watching the figure of Roan walking away.