the archers war | kate bishop

in my head

"u-g-l-y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly you ugly." eli sang as we made it up to the door of our apartments.
her and kate had been smiling and cheering that they successfully took down the bad guys while i had stayed silent with my hands in my pockets.

"good job, guys. let's drink to celebrate." eli said with a smile after unlocking her door. she was immediately met with ruby bringing her into a bone crushing hug.

"uh, let's clean up first, huh?" i suggested and she nodded. everyone dispersed into their respective homes.

"oh, wow. that was so fun. i mean, it was scary, a bomb went off ruining my party, but we took them down. that's all done with." kate said with a smile as she took off her gear.

"kate, i need to talk to you."

"oh, yeah, yeah! let me shower and then i can get started on dinner." she tried to walk away but i held her wrist softly, careful not to put too much pressure on it.

"it's urgent." her joyful face had fallen into a serious one. she took me to the couch and i kneeled in front of her.

"i have to go away... for a while."

"what? what do you, what do you mean by that?" she asked frantically.

i could tell her the truth but it'll make matters worse for her.

"i'm being sent on a mission. with sam and bucky. we have to go find out who those guys were and what they wanted."

"how long are you... how long are you gonna be gone? i can come with you. yeah, i'll come."

"no, no." i shook my head, placing my hands on top of hers, "this is a serious mission, okay? i'll come back. safe and sound."

"why you? why can't captain america and the winter soldier figure that out?"

"because we're avengers, right?" her eyes sparkled slightly before it was back to a dark shade of blue.

"i feel like i'm missing something. what aren't you telling me?" she asked suspiciously but sadly.

"i'm not lying. i promise." lie.

"you know, you're doing a good job at lying. much better than when you were a kid." 

"you're not real. it's all in my head." i mumbled as i shook my head rapidly.

"what? i am real, lex." kate reassured.

"you know i'm real. there's a part of you that knows i am, that's why i'm still here."

"no!" i yelled out to the redhead, startling my girlfriend who watched me rub my hair, "a grieving mind is a powerful thing. you're a ghost. a memory, a daydream. grief, anger, guilt. picturing you here with me is what i want to see, because it's better than not seeing you again!"

i yelled out and whipped my head upwards, but she already disappeared.

looking around the room frantically, i breathed out rapidly, and was stopped when cold hands placed on my cheeks.

her blue eyes that showed concern met my brown dull ones, "hey, hey, no one's here. it's just you and me."

"i need to go away from everything." i stood up rapidly and began packing my bags.

"will you come back to me?" she asked as she watched me pack my bags.

"i am. i promise." i looked into her eyes before placing a soft kiss on her lips, "we'll meet again..."

kate smiled and finished it off, "don't know when, don't know where. but i know we'll meet some sunny day."

as we walked to the door i texted eli to regroup at peters place. she responded with a quick 'okay' and a second later, loud footsteps sprinted in the halls.