𝐀 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐒𝐎 𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐒

Chapter 36

Chapter Number/Total: 36/44
Chapter Title: Enough is Enough

As Harry watched the Healers move Draco into the Janus Thickey ward, he had been tempted to completely forget it all and stay right by Draco's side.

Frank and Alice Longbottom were asleep, but they were there. They were there, and Harry could hardly bear the thought of Draco there as well. It was like Draco was going to end up like them, but Narcissa helped Harry through it.

It still took him a while to be able to actually leave. He sat and stared at Draco for a long time, holding his hand and kissing his forehead, because maybe Draco would pick right then to wake up. Maybe. But he didn't.

Harry packed up the babies, and felt like he left his very heart behind as he went home.

Narcissa went with him, and he was grateful, because he didn't know what he would have done if he'd had to go home alone. There were two cots in the nursery, but they put the babies into just one so that they wouldn't cry. Narcissa showed him how to set up a Monitoring Charm, which would let both of them know when Caelum or Corvus awoke. Then she told Harry to get some sleep, which he doubted he would actually be able to do.

Kreacher had cleaned, so his and Draco's bedroom was not covered in blood, but it didn't stop the images from entering into Harry's head. He might have chosen to sleep somewhere else if it weren't for the fact that Draco had slept in that bed with him. It was his and Draco's bed. He lay on the left side, where he always did, laid his arm over Draco's side of the bed, and cried silently for a while.

He tried to sleep, but couldn't, no matter what he did. He knew Narcissa was staying there as well, in some other room, and he knew it was late enough for her to be asleep. It wasn't exactly time to feed the babies yet – it had been explained to him that they required feeding every few hours – but he crept next door to their room anyway.

They were both wide awake, staring at each other and all around them.

Harry lifted the charm, so that Narcissa wouldn't be woken from sleep. "Hi, boys," he whispered to them.

They made grunting, burbling noises.

He reached down to pet their heads. Merlin, Corvus looked so much like Draco. It was unmistakable. And Caelum had his blond hair. Draco was so evident in both of them. Harry hoped that he wouldn't have to tell them that. He hoped they would be able to see it in Draco themselves as he cared for them, because Draco would. God, he had to.

The truth of it made Harry angry. He wished he could trade places with Draco. He would have in a heartbeat.

He sighed quietly. He didn't want to cry. The stinging in his eyes said differently, but he really didn't want to. "Come on," he whispered, reaching in to lift Caelum in one arm, and then managed to carefully lift Corvus as well. He carried them out of the nursery and into his and Draco's bedroom, laying them on Draco's side of the bed.

He lay down next to them, reaching to gently touch and pet. It was so quiet in the house. There was no noise at all, only the noises the boys made. Harry felt very alone with them, like they were the only three people in the world. He wanted to feel like Draco was alone with them as well. He literally felt his stomach twist with pain and guilt and fear as he thought of Draco alone in that hospital with only the Healers there with him. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, trying to suppress the shaking.

Caelum let out a loud yelping sound, and Harry opened his eyes again to see the baby looking at him with wide eyes, kicking his feet. Harry smiled at him, almost feeling like Caelum was telling him to think about something else. "I love you," he said quietly, leaning over to kiss both their heads. He did love them. He loved them so much already, but his heart ached even while he was with them. He wanted Draco there, too.