Still unaware of her autism which her parents hid from her, Eloise's life is uprooted at 15 when she is shipped across the country to an abusive foster father. When the new town, house, and school, she is dropped into turn out to be unsafe environm...
El lifted her head to check the time on the cheap digital watch that was getting too small for her wrist as her other hand kept rhythmically hitting her bouncing knee with an open palm.
She looked out the window beside her at the moving landscape.
She hung her head again, chin lowered against her chest, her right hand still hanging in the air by her ear.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...
She lifted her head, checked her watch.
She looked out the window.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...
The young teen cringed as the old city bus came to an abrupt stop and she fell forward, quickly lowering her right hand to the backpack by her side, light grey stained with faded rainbow colours by magic markers, before it fell. She put the heavy bag on her lap and hugged it, rocking back and forth gently.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...
Watch.
Window.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...
Watch.
Window.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...
She looked out the window one last time and rung the bell alerting the driver to let her off at the next stop.
El waited for a complete stop before standing from her seat in the front row. She didn't notice the dirty looks the other passengers gave her as she took the time to carefully put her backpack on and tighten the straps before stepping towards the door. She never noticed the looks, not that she would recognize their intentions anyway. She kept her eyes looking straight ahead as she passed the impatient driver, only turning around to face the bus once she had completely stepped out and the door was closing.
Keeping her position until the bus was nearly out of sight, she started on her walk towards school in her worn out sneakers. She didn't feel the pain in her feet as she watched her straightened fingers dance in front of her face, humming to herself as she moved forward. Soon she found herself standing on the sidewalk across the street from the imposing main building of her new school.
El looked right.
123
She looked left.
123
Right.
123
Left.
12-
Distracted by the many teenagers rushing across the street carelessly, she lost count.
Again.
Right, 123
Left, 123
Right, 123
Left, 123
She hooked her thumbs through the straps of her backpack and held them tight before carefully stepping off the cement onto the freshly paved black road. The remaining fumes of new concrete stench burned her nose as she paced forward in even steps, looking left and right some more as she went along.
By the time she reached the front door, El's cheeks had turned pink, sweat beginning to form under the oversized sweatshirt she wore despite the sun pounding down on the small town. She anxiously took a deep breath, releasing her backpack straps as she prepared to push open the heavy door before her. As she took a step forward a group of boys rushed by her and ran inside, laughing and shoving each other as El tried to keep her balance.
When the door had finally clicked shut again, the small girl pushed it open for herself with some struggle. Quickly the sounds of inside combined with the similar chaos from outside into an echo of teenage and adult voices, slamming car doors and ringing cellphones. Not having noticed she was still standing in the middle of the entrance, El soon felt herself get hit by a fast-opening door and fell to the ground. Overwhelmed by her senses, she dragged herself over to a nearby wall and put her back against it, taking off her backpack and placing it in her lap as she had on the bus. She sat cross legged, rocking back and forth as she hugged her bag, her back hitting the cold brick wall with each backward movement.
Eloise didn't understand how anyone could function in this environment. She didn't know not everyone hears the rotating fans and pens clicking, sees every flicker of the fluorescent lights, smells the floor wax and cleaning products and repulsive cocktail of every deodorant and body spray on the sweaty bodies crowding the hallway. She had no reference for normality, no idea why she acted this way, why she felt like the only one who wasn't strong enough.
Closing her eyes and tilting her head back, El stopped rocking and let out a deep breath. Hands down by her sides, she moved her fingers through warm sand and felt the cool breeze on her face. She watched the waves dance with her eyes shut, the hot sun beating down on her as she tried to let the sounds of angry seagulls and motorboats and buzzing bees fade away. Crabs pinched and birds pecked, but she ignored them. One hand came up to rub small circles on her cheekbone with the side of a thumb, the other continuing to sway back and forth gently by her side, one finger tracing figure-eights onto the ground. The bees and boats and birds started fading out when a ship blew its loud horn, announcing the imminent start of classes she would certainly be late to. For a moment it was almost calm, only the gentle waves of buzzing lights and air conditioning melodically transforming the still ocean into moving lines that crashed into white foam before El. For a moment she was all alone.
Suddenly the hand by her side stopped moving when she felt a soft weight touch her. She removed her hand briskly and turned her head to look at the source of the interference, where she saw a girl. Calmly sitting parallel to her, back against the same wall, the stranger looked at her with a calm smile. El's eyes were open, yet the sight was still relaxing and beautiful. It was the stranger's hand she had felt on hers. The newcomer addressed her in nearly a whisper. "Hey, watcha doing?" She asked as if to a fragile child. "Watcha doing. Beach." El echoed the other girl's question, her reply simple, too tired from her experience moments ago to attempt a full sentence. "I love the beach, can I join you?" El didn't respond, simply turning her head back to its original position with her eyes closed once more. The stranger copied her without saying a word.
Her presence felt calming, reassuring, feelings El could not identify as she had never truly experienced them, but she knew what felt right. She listened to the urge to put her hand back down by her side, but rather than moving it this time she simply rested it there. Sure enough, the light weight of soft fingers met her skin again, and this time she let it stay. She rubbed her own cheek with the side of the thumb on her other hand, and when she looked at the other girl a moment later, she was mirroring the action.
"All done." El broke the silence after about 15 minutes. She held her hands up in front of her, turning them so her palms faced towards then away from her a few times, mimicking the sign language videos she had seen at the public library. ¹ She stood up, put on her backpack, and walked away, ignoring the "Wait up!" of the girl who rushed to follow her.
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¹Sign language "all done" for reference
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