The Language of Flowers | Fred Weasley

10: Q U A K I N G G R A S S - agitation

I fought to remain still as the spiders crawled all over me, their spindly little legs brushing against my flesh. I was not scared of spiders and Moody came to this realisation mere seconds after I did. The environment changed and I was instead in complete darkness. I did not react to this either.

Again, Moody changed my environment, and then suddenly I was completely submerged in water. This was wrong too.

Finally, I was in a box. It was big enough for two people to sit comfortably, two people that weren't me. For me, the box was too small, too tight. My breath hitched and my brain no longer knew how to command my lungs to breathe. Not again. That's twice in one school year

I tried to react the way Moody wanted me too because I knew that he was now watching my reactions very carefully but I needed to get out. I let out a shout, kicking at the box as it began to shrink slowly. The hairs on my neck stood on end as I let out another blood-curdling scream. I knew this was a simulation, a practice, and that Moody would let me out, but it felt so impossible. What reaction did he want?

I let out a deep breath, I could do this. It wasn't a real box, it was my mind telling me the box was there. I just needed to pretend to be calm for a moment and then I'd be free. I bit my lip, giving the box one last push before I sunk in on myself, curling up as small as I possibly could. My breath was coming out so quickly that I barely had time to take in a breath before I was forcing my lungs to expand again.

That was the second time this school year I've been in a situation like this. I am so incredibly lucky. The box continued to get smaller but it wasn't close enough yet that it hurt; however, it wasn't so much the fact that it would hurt me it was the fact that I was trapped.

I had put my hand against my neck, my heartbeat was still beating strong. It was okay. My pulse was rushing, pulsing loudly against my finger, it was there. My heart was still going so I would not be afraid.

I curled up even smaller and then the box was no longer there, vanishing completely. I could feel it though, the pressure of the walls deep in my bones. The pressure was pushing and pushing against me until my bones cracked and my blood rushed out. I blinked rapidly in an attempt to clear the image from my head. 

It didn't work.

"Very good, Miss Hawksley. That took an impressively short amount of time." Moody said and I look up at him. The class was staring at me with curious eyes. I knew that they couldn't see what I did, only my reaction. My fear was not exactly visible to them, but I'm sure it was fairly obvious what I was afraid of.

Most of my classmates had done this already. Adhera had faced spiders. Joanna, isolation. Katie faced corpses. María faced the fear that she was not good enough. The Slytherins had almost all gone through their fears as well, the most surprising fear was a Slytherin girl who was afraid of ladybirds. Poor girl, what an unfortunate fear.

I pulled myself off the ground, almost falling. I put on a brave face but I was fighting the shaking that had already come on. I could still feel the box against me. I took my seat beside Joanna. She grabbed my hand, intertwining her fingers with mine and giving my hand a kind squeeze.

I was just happy Moody had not discovered my fear of heights, my reactions would have been too much for the class. The rest of the class ran through their fears too, it took an eternity.

Though in truth, I had no idea what was going on. I spent the rest of the class trying to calm down my racing heart. When we exited the classroom, there was not a word from anybody.

Moody had run through that exercise to show us how easy it would be for people with the wrong intentions to scare us into giving them what they wanted. And it worked, it would have been so easy. I would have submitted to whatever my enemy would have wanted. He had told us to fight back against our fear but to me, fighting back was the same as giving up.