Flynn - a kissing booth fan fiction

Lasts

Sitting on the plane, headphones on, I glance over at my dad, smiling to myself when I see he's dozed off,  book in his lap. I wish I could do that, just shut my brain off and sleep, instead of sitting here thinking, worrying. With a sigh, I turn back to look out the window, down at the fluffy white clouds spread out below us like a lumpy blanket.

My mind drifts back over the last couple of days, my last at the beach house with Elle and Lee. After Rachel left, and the trip to visit Harvard with Dad loomed, it hit me that I might not be back to the beach house for a few years after this summer. When I said as much to Elle and Lee, and that next year might be their last year there too, they'd scoffed. But between internships and eventually jobs, it was unlikely that our childhood tradition of spending most of the summer there was going to last much longer. I was trying to be realistic, but it made me sad just the same.

All the more reason to spend time there with Elle when I get back from this campus tour. Yesterday had been fun, though, with Lee too, playing Frisbee and volleyball, swimming, throwing the football around, having another Coke at the tiki bar with Elle - this time without running into anyone who wanted a fight. It was a great day, right up until Lee mentioned the bonfire party happening tonight. I wasn't happy about Lee and Elle going, even though they promised they'd leave if it started getting too crazy.

Elle had stormed off after I told her she shouldn't go and Lee had insisted he could take care of her just fine, saying she didn't need either of us babysitting her. Maybe she was right. Either way, I guess I'll have to get used to not being around to stop her and Lee doing dumb shit soon enough when I'm living in Boston. I'm not sure what scares me more; being too far away from Elle to protect her, or starting college on the other side of the country without her there to keep me sane.

I know she's scared too. I could see it in her eyes when she looked at me yesterday and saying goodbye this morning had been worse. I'd tried to make light of the whole thing, telling her I was only going for a few days, that I'd be back by the time they got home from the beach house, that I probably wasn't even going to like Harvard. But I saw the tears in her eyes before I kissed her. My gut twisted, but I tried to put a brave face on it.

Not for the first time, I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Staying with Elle and trying long distance. The thought of not being in the same city is painful, and I can see how miserable it's making her already. The problem is, the thought of not being with her at all is worse. The definition of unbearable. So, in a situation where there are no good choices, I guess we're making the least bad one.

I was only half kidding when I told Elle I didn't know if I'd like Harvard. Thinking back to when I applied, it seemed like such a good idea. Abstract, but good. No downsides. Now that it's almost solid, concrete, all I can see are downsides. I have no idea what to expect, beyond what I've seen online, no idea what it's actually going to be like. Why did I choose the hardest college, 3000 miles from home? Where I know absolutely no one? Where there's no Elle?

My thoughts continue to spiral until I feel Dad's knee nudge mine. When I look over at him, his eyebrows are raised like he has something to say, so I pull my headphones down.

"What's up?"

"It's going to be okay, you know?" he says quietly.

I feel my eyebrows draw together in a frown before I can stop them. "Yeah, I know."

"Do you?" he replies, his mouth quirking up on one side. "Because if you keep rubbing the back of your neck, you're going to start taking skin off."

I hadn't even realized I'd been doing that.

Letting out a deep breath, I close my eyes for a second then shake my head, giving him a wry grin. "I guess I'm more nervous that I thought."

"I'd be worried if you weren't," Dad chuckles.