Flames and Curses [l.s]

Guilt and Other Pleasures

He rushes past him like a gust of wind and Louis can't comprehend anything that happened in the past few minutes. Harry keeps running off and takes a turn backstage and Louis' eyes can no longer find him. The arena stays silent till Louis unground himself to follow Harry and then start to fill with silenced murmurs. He looks back worriedly at the people, but he has more things to worry about so he keeps on his track.

Louis closes in on Harry and notices how his cadmium green suit had bleeded into a dark red. His eyes try to clear their vision, wiping off all the flooding memories that he had kept hidden in a box underneath years of hating himself. 

But Harry loves himself, he thinks over and over again. Why would he? But then he was wrong before too.

"You killed her." 

"You just love hurting people, don't you Louis?"

"You selfish prick!"

He is finally able to catch up to Harry when they reach a dead end and Harry turns around with red eyes, clutching his bleeding arm. Louis slowly walks up to him and lifts his arm and Harry's eyes close tightly, tears topple down his eyelashes.

He is right. And for the first time, he hates that he is right. His thumb lightly grazes the blood and the tip turns red. Footsteps are heard in the background and he drops the arm, however it lingers a little longer in the air before Harry hides it behind his back. Louis' face drops even more and he feels his heart ache for Harry's voice.

"Zayn, they're here!" Niall shouts as he jogs towards them. "Harry- are you bleeding? Oh my god, what the fuck happened on stage?" He hurries past Louis and holds Harry's arm up to examine. A strange urge to protect Harry rises in Louis and he has to stop himself.

Niall knows him better, he thinks to himself and takes a few steps back. His shoulder hits something and he looks over it to find Zayn and Liam standing there absolutely still. They know him worse, a sense of consolation arises and he internally scolds himself for letting possessiveness take over him.

"What do you need?" Niall asks calmly, but there is a slight waver in his voice Louis hasn't heard of in all his years of knowing him.

"I- I need to go back. Alone." Harry responds but Niall immediately shakes his head and Louis agrees.

"I need to be alone, Niall, please." He begs and Louis' urges burn his heart. He wants to hold him close, keep him warm and kiss away all of the pain he has experienced in his entire life. He almost walks upto him when Niall's voice breaks him out of the trance. 

"You don't want to take me? That's fine. Take anyone else, but I won't let you go alone."

"I'll go," Louis spills out and everyone looks up at him in disbelief.

 'What? Even i can't believe what i just said'

"Okay" Harry whispers and Niall just nods as he clears the way for them to walk away. Harry silently follows Louis till they are outside the venue. They can see crowds of people just behind a large fence, and Louis can see how Harry clutches himself tighter, as if to secure himself from any hurt. He looks like a puppy who had been kicked and Louis can't bear it. He covers him as much as he can but their feet stop in the tracks when a chant is heard. Their necks snap to the crowd and they make out the words: We love you. We love you.

Louis' eyes twinkle in pride and he turns to find the same reaction on Harry's face and his lips quivering. Harry shifts his gaze to the ground and then to Louis with a small hidden smile on his lips. He is still clutching his jacket, but now he feels safer. He feels at home.

They slowly step onto the bus and Louis closes the door after a small wave and I love you in ASL. He had learnt it a few years back for some reason and used it quite often while speaking but usually no one really noticed. 

He strolls up to Harry who was looking out of his window, one hand resting on the glass with red finger tips. 

"You know ASL?" He asks without looking at Louis. 

"Yeah, you saw?"

"Mhmm, me too."

"Oh, great." Louis awkwardly mutters and Harry just nods before turning to his arm. "Oh, wait. I should get you some first aid stuff. Do you have a kit on the bus?" 

Harry's mouth hangs open in surprise but he gives Louis the whereabouts of the kit. Louis fetches it and brings it over to where Harry sat and pulls out all necessary items.

"Is it okay if I do this?" He asks reluctantly before dipping the cotton in an antiseptic. Harry just nods. "Okay, this might sting a little bit."

He gently dabs at the auburn wounds and Harry winces but he continues doing so. After it is cleaned up, he pulls out a bandage roll and starts to wrap it around Harry's forearm in a pattern.

"You are surprisingly good at this." Harry comments.

"I have 6 younger siblings. I know how to give first aid." Louis tells and Harry's face falls just a little but returns back to the previous state, as if it was a fluctuation in his emotions. 

"All done," Louis packs the kit and returns it to its place. He continues walking while questions pop in his mind.

Should I sit next to him? Should I leave him alone? He did want to be alone. But he should talk. But to me? I am gonna hurt him. I should stay away.

He keeps on walking until Harry pats on the space next to him, indicating to Louis to sit there. Louis hesitates but then sits down, running his hands on his thighs straightening out imaginary wrinkles. Harry clears his throat and mutters a thank you to him. Louis nods in reply, not sure if he should say or ask anything.

"Why did you let me come with you?" He asks Harry who was still looking out of the window.

"You asked to," Harry says plainly and Louis' eyes avert to the large board opposite to them. It was covered with things that usually bring the message of joy and happiness, but now somehow a filter of melancholy had settled on it. Unicorns no longer traced rainbows, butterflies no longer fluttered. They had wounded wings and broken hearts.

A/N: Well well well, this one is a tragic one. Like, vote, comment! Lots of love and tpwk