Its everywhere. Its in the conversations I hear of sports. It's in the people I see and the way they act. Its in the way people express their thoughts. Its the words on the desk. Its the people that speak of Narnia. Its in the anger that shows a fight is coming. Its in every post on pinterest. Its every comment of every friend. It's every homework assignment. It's going in to Bible class everyday. It's seeing coach's face. There is no escaping this. This question that plagues my mind. Which do I choose? My lifelong love that has failed me every time, yet brings me peace? The new exciting joy that is just as confusing, yet just as inspiring? They are in everything, they are in each other. One has a success rate that can be measured and defined, one where anything goes. Both allow a way out. Choosing one over the other cuts my heart in two. One has failed me, the other has not been there long enough to. One has a leader that believes in me, the other a leader that can do without me, but I can't help but long to impress. Both create beauty. No one is pushing me either way except me. Either way I will have friends I am hurting. Either way there will be painful days of missing what I left. Either way it will appear I am backing down, afraid of one challenge or another. Either way I will be viewed as weak. Either way I will be letting myself down. No matter what, I will regret my decision at some point. Because its everywhere.
