ghost of you [yeonbin]

come home

I gathered all my strength to stand back up and walk towards the stairs that heads to second floor. My legs starts to wobble as the gravity keep on pulling my weak body.

After struggling for who knows how long I finally reached the second floor which wasn't much different from the first one. Filled with furniture that were covered with white sheets.

I went to my old room and take a deep breath before turning the knob. It was still the same, nothing has change.

I sat on the edge of my bed and open the drawer of my nightstand. I remember having an album kept inside there and I was right, it was still there, untouched.

I flipped open the album and the first thing I see was our wedding day picture. We both stand beside each other with a big wide smile on our face, as if we were the happiest person alive back then.

I kept on flipping the page until I saw the picture of our first adopted son, Choi Junsoo. We got him since he was only a year old and raise him till he was three before we decided to take in another child which is how we manage to have our second adopted child, Choi Seojun. Our sweet little Seojun. We have him since he was only a few months.

The album was filled with all of those memories that we made in this house. Every corner of these house has every bit of memories that was made.

Another drop of tears slip through the brim of my eyes. Those memories automatically play in my mind everytime I look at those pictures. Every single one of them leave a mark at the back of my head, seems like it won't fade anytime soon.

"I miss you so much flower, I miss both of our angels. Why did you all leave me here all alone?" I stared at that one specific picture of Yeonjun smiling with both of our sons beside him looking straight into the camera, it looks as if they were looking at me.

"Please take care of our angels okay. I love you all so so much." I can't help it anymore and start weeping while hugging the album tightly.

My visions starts to get blurry as my voice was stuck in my throat. I tried to shout as loud as I can but nothing came out of my mouth. I tried to plead to ease the pain I had in my chest but the more I cry for help, the bigger the hollow in my heart.

Missing someone that you can no longer held is the most painful grieve that a man can hold.

I can't breath properly now and my throat starts to burn. I need to rest so I laid down on the bed while hugging the album on my chest.

I cried silently as I lied down. All of these warm tears won't be going anywhere for awhile. I tried to stabilized my breathing pattern and manage to calm myself a bit.

As I finally regain my mind back I start to feel drowsy, maybe because of those weeping and crying. I let myself being drown by my sleepiness. With another drop of tears running through my skin I softly plead,

"Please come home."