why do drugs when you can be reborn as a god

[OLD VER]THE PLOT TOOK SEVERAL STOPS AND DETOURS BUT SOMEHOW GOT THERE FASTER

"Did a vessel just- wait- YOU DARE INSULT ME, INSOLENT VESSEL"

WELL SHIT, I GUESS THIS IS ALREADY GOING OFF THE RAILS. Well I still have to try to get out even if it comes down to a fistfight with the damn utensil lookin ass fugly ass. As I climb I realize that most of the vessels are barely scraping the bottom half. I decide to ignore them for now to try and see if any are getting up and I notice a few stragglers. wait a minute... As I look down I see that among a few other shades that's- goateye, or more precisely their shade. How- what why when- do they even remember anything I- Nope you have to stay focused you have a job to do

As I sit there in shock I notice ghost and the "pure" vessel climbing farther than the others. I'll have to come back for goateye's shade I can't afford to get stuck here. With that aside I check on ghost and the "pure" vessel, from now I'm just gonna call them hollow or some shit it's simpler and I always was a fan name lover. Anyways they're starting to catch up so I decide to actually start climbing again. Good thing I practiced with these wings, huh.

--timeskip because this is getting boring to write lmao--

Christ on a chandelier that shit was difficult. If I had to breathe I'm sure I'd be panting like a motherfucker. Anyways now I just have to wait, after all I need a distraction for the pale fork bitch so that getting past him is easier I'm not fuckin stupid.

-I disagree with that last part-

oh fuck you

-no thanks-

God, they're a bitch, anyways- I can see the two coming up so I take that as my cue to focus on what they're doing so that I can time this right. Damn they're being slow as shit but they are literally fresh out the metaphorical womb. Wonder why they can already climb shit that's weird as hell. God damn it I need to focus, they're getting close. Should I help ghost up though? Like if everything goes right then I'll find a way to yoink the life outta the radiance. 

I should probably help them- I mean it would be much more difficult if I didn't plus I'm not letting them down like goateye. OKAY NOW FOCUS they're getting close and if I don't time this ri- My thought process is cut off by hollow getting to the platform before mine, SHIT. I panic and have to stop myself from freezing as they make the last jump. That's my cue, I jump like a kid after eating a pound of skittles on a trampoline and barely make it. As I turn around to watch ghost jump I reach out to grab their hand and... I CAUGHT IT THANK FUCKING GOD, I help them up as the living lamp of a bug stares, VERY confused at what I was doing. Oh yeah he's here.

And he looks at me, and I look at him, and he looks at- okay in all seriousness this is EXTREMELY awkward, he looks a lot less terrifying god and a lot more exhausted office worker at a bar with co-workers he doesn't know. Like seriously if it weren't for the mass child murder I would almost feel bad for the guy. Okay now he's just kinda switching looking between me, hollow, and ghost repeatedly and- IS HE SERIOUSLY CASUALLY SCRATCHING HIS CHIN LIKE A DAD TRYING TO DO MATH FOR HIS 4TH GRADER KID????

 God, this guy is barely staying above pathetic right now, is this seriously the same person who yoinked a kingdom from the GOD DAMN RADIANCE??? LIKE SHE MAY BE EXTREMELY FUCKED UP BUT AT LEAST SHE HAS SOME DIGNITY TO LOOK LIKE A GOD. He looks- offended? WAIT A SECOND, IS THIS GUY READING MY MIND OR SOME SHIT??? HOW WEIRD CAN THIS PATHETIC FORK LOOKING HEAD ASS BARELY AN EXCUSE FOR A LAMP ASS MOTHERFUCKER GET?? Wait isn't he technically a literal motherfucker since- OKAY. NO SHUTTING THAT THOUGHT PROCESS DOWN I'D RATHER HAVE THE ABILITY TO SLEEP, THANKS.

"How many times will you insult me, vessel."

OKAY SO HE CAN READ MY MIND. THAT'S FREAKY AND NOT IN THE OTHER WAY. HELL NO. THAT'S SO MANY LEVELS OF WRONG OH MY FUCKING LORD I SWEAR TO GOD.

-Maybe you should stop giving me ideas then, huh bitch.-

Well fuck you too, do ya want me to breathe only when you ask too? Prick.

As I argue with the head homie I fail to notice that at some point I just started to get dragged somewhere, or at least I didn't notice until I was IN FRONT OF A BRIGHT ASS CASTLE LOOKING THING???? WHAT THE SHIT??? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I GET DISTRACTED GOD DAMN IT.

"For something that is supposed to be mindless you tend to think a lot vessel, and loudly to my great displeasure" 

g̴̗̓̀̈́̓̕̕l̸̡͎̥̯̝͍̦̊̃͗̎̂̐̓͘̕a̷̡̢̛̞̮̖̅̉̉͌̚͘d̸̺̙̞̗̘̼͊̍̓̿̾͑̇͝ ̵̧̧͕̘̟͔̞̂t̷̨̻̘̠̭̥̆̓̄̃͗͂̑̓̈̂ọ̸̹̱͈̟̊ ̷̖̘̙̟̗̮̱̮͍̩͗̌̆̾̄̓̎͊̈́ȋ̸̻̼̟̺̹̟̜̝̀̽̑n̸̻̫̩̦͂̄͆̂́ḉ̵̨̡̳̲̖̞̺̔̓̒̌͗o̷̜̩͊ͅṋ̴̢̨̼͔͍̤̠͒̈̋̅̅͝ṿ̵̡͙̰͙͇͍̲̑̇͛̄̅e̷͇̤̤͙̝̍͌̆̒́͊̆̕͘ñ̴̯̜̝̿̈́͋̽͂̚i̷͈̼̯̐̇́̄̈̾͗͋̈́͌e̸̬͍͋n̸̛̝͈̋̊̀̚c̶̡͓̳̖̹̯̲̆̈̆͊͘e̵̢̳̭͇͛̃̃̅̅̄̎̆ ̸̧̻̪͙̹͈͉̩͋̽͌͝y̷̧̲̻̗̞͇͈̩͙̾͂̇̿̓͌͑̈̿̕ó̵̳̂̈u̷̡̨͔̻̺͓̭͈̐̆̒̎̏̓ ̶̛͉̺͚͖̼̃̓̄̂̅̆̚͜ͅa̴͖̣͂̽̽̅̈́͌͒̆n̶̢̼̪͍͈͍̟͔̻̙̽̀̈́̎̅͑͝y̸̨̧̛̬͚̲̫̘̫̽̇̄ ̵͖͓͖̹̘̮̙̞́̇̃̆͂d̸͕͙̰̾̓͋͗̀͝ą̷̨̪̼̖͙̟̠̺͆y̶͈̼̣̟̟̪͐̈́͊ͅͅ ̴̪̍͛̏͛̂͂̀̅̚p̶̡̧̧̢̘̼̺͕̦̥̉̂̈́̐a̴͍͙̠͓͖̍̃̃̽͂l̵͍͋́͑̅̈̊͒͠ę̸̧̫̝̳̇̾͋͛̒͗̽ ̵̛͔͙͕̩̀̓̾̓͜f̶̨̳͕͚̈̉̋o̶̡̠̦͖̪͉̊͗͂̃̉̔̀͘͝ͅr̷̘̜̳̪̱̫̼͒̾̑̃͛͛͜ͅk̸̳̣͚̠̺̝̉̍̈̍̌̈́̇̄̇͒[arrogance, amusement, spite]

After saying that I hear him groan and mumble something about wishing he shoved me off the balcony. I'd snicker if I could, fuck the pale ass combo of a lamp and a utensil for that. I can say ur mom jokes no longer, so sad. Wait if he can read my mind did he just hear that part- oh well not like he can force anything but obscenities out of my mouth.

 As I think that we enter a room

(A/N PHEW, THAT'S DONE WITH. I spent over an hour deciding how I wanted that to go down. But finally we are out of the void and into the palace. I'm sure it wasn't a surprise to see the king potrayed as not so high and mighty in a vessel fic, what can I say? I'm not exactly original lmao. Anyways next chapter we might just meet a certain motherly figure, bet y'all are gonna have fun with that.)