stupid piece of paper : hyunsung ✓

fifteen

He pondered more, as he walked back to the changing rooms. 

What if today was going to backfire? 

There was no one left in the room. So he went to his place and started changing. 

What if Minho was homophobic? What if he'll spread rumors about him? 

He pulled his hoodie over his head. It has gotten cold again even though it was hella warm last week. Jisung would never understand the weather. But most of all he couldn't stop thinking about... what if Minho actually wanted to go out with him? 

Then he came to the conclusion that when Minho was writing these notes, he would want to go out with him. And he wouldn't be homophobic because these notes were the gayest thing Jisung had ever read. All in the only topic in these letters was the wish of Minho to be together with him. 

Jisung slipped into his shoes. The note in his pocket poked him. He sat back down on the bench and opened it. 

"To my darling, I wonder if dreams could come true. Do you think you would magically pop into my room with me and just cuddle for the rest of the night and kiss my head when I start to fall asleep? I wish for that the whole time when I'm awake and when I sleep I dream about it. Your amazing secret admirer."

 Jisung grinned, his eyes flying over the few words. He had to reread multiple times, as he couldn't concentrate with the fuzzy feeling in his tummy. This was the best blueprint to ask Minho. He'll just use his words. Jisung wouldn't have to stutter his words out and- 

"You're actually reading my letters?" 

Jisung froze.

 "You stopped replying after that one time, so..." 

This can't be. He must be hallucinating. He oh so slowly raised his head.

 "You knew it was me didn't you?" Hyunjin looked back, a sad smile painted on his face. "That's why you ripped them apart, right?" 

Jisung's throat felt like it was being tied up. Someone was shoving the childhood pictures that were laying in his room into his mouth, the sharp ends of them cutting the insides. It burned like poison on his tongue and the pain spread in his head.

 "This... this is a joke right?"

 Hyunjin's face contorted and he shook his head with a chuckle. "Of course not." His voice sounded wet like he was struggling not to cry. 

"Could you at least stop looking at me like you're about to beat me up? I know you hate me, alright?" His eyes fixed on the floor, while Jisung kept staring at him. 

"No, this... no. Minho..." Jisung brought out, dropping his head to look at the note. As if it was going to tell him the truth. It didn't help. The messy handwriting on there was nothing but words. Jisung couldn't read them anymore, as tears brimmed in his eyes. 

 "Fuck you." He whispered, standing up. "Fuck you Hwang." 

The boy just looked at him, his head leaning to one side. The smile on his face became crocked, but wouldn't leave.

 "You're just fucking with me right? Minho told you to do his because he lost feelings and... and..." He stepped closer. His words brought a pang to his own heart. 

"Minho?" Hyunjin asked. "Minho has absolutely nothing to do with this. I am sorry to disappoint you, I saw the way you two grew closer." Hyunjin sounded bitter. "But Minho is dating Chan. For about four months now I th-"

 "Liar!" Jisung shouted. "Just tell me what the fuck you want Hwang." His breathing was unsteady, as he was one step away from the blond.

 "What I want?" Hyunjin's eyes searched over his face. "You know that..." he said in a whisper.

 Jisung was close enough to see how his eyes misted over. "No I don't. You didn't write the notes." Jisung glared at him, his face hot with the anger washing over him in waves.

 "I did," Hyunjin said. 

"No." 

And then he chuckled again. "I did... and I do think about you when I'm awake and when I sleep I dream about you. It's the only thing." He exhaled. "I didn't expect you to want it to be true. But at least it's out now, isn't it?"

 "Kiss my ass. Where do you get the idea to do something like that? Is it funny to you to play with the feelings of someone like this?" Jisung's finger poked his chest. His loud words echoed through the room. 

"For fucks sake Jisung I am in love with you." Hyunjin's bag dropped to the floor.

 "No you're not." 

 "You're just ignorant and dumb and egoistic and stuck up Jisung." He did the same as Jisung mere seconds ago, approaching him with angry steps. "Honestly what the fuck is your problem with me?" 

Jisung's back hit the red locker. "I hate you." He stared at Hyunjin. 

The boy's hands slammed on either side of Jisungs head. He was caged in. "What do you think you're doing?" He asked.

 "I'll give you a reason to hate me." Before Jisung could stop him, a pair of lips were on his. Jisung's lips were in a thin line and he pushed Hyunjin away. "Fuck you!" He slapped him.

 Hyunjin kissed him again and held his hands in an iron grip. "Hmpff!" Jisung kicked his legs and struggled in his hold. Suddenly Hyunjin pulled away. "Hate me enough now?" A tear rolled down his cheek.

 Jisung slapped him again, the tear sticking to his hand. "You're sick." He gripped his bag and stormed past him.

 "Fucking obnoxious!" He shouted before slamming the door shut behind him. Hyunjin was left alone, crying in the abrupt silence.