I am scared.
I am scared of falling in love.
Everyone always talks about the good part in relationships, you know, the love, the romantic dates, the gifts, the intimacity, the butterflys.
I imagine it so wonderful, so perfect.
But what am I scared of then?
The parts, that noone talks about, the part where its hurts. The Part, with insecuritys, the part of hurting, of getting hurt.
I am so scared that I am gonna get hurt. I dont want to feel like my heart is ripped in pieces, i dont want to have Minutes of hell when my partner and me break up. I dont want to loose a friendship I just won, because I am falling in love with this person.
I love this person. I really do.
But i dont know how, is it friendship or more? Is it the risk worth of loosing this friendship? I love her so much, I crave for her touch, for compliments, for hugs, for everything with her. I think I dont even care that much, to get hurt, I care about loosing her. Its okey, if I get hurt, as long as she is still there and I know that I will be okey. I am thinking of her every day, I cant stop.
And then I lay in my bed and just hope that everything will go well.
That I can stop thinking of her and no one gets hurt. And I hope, that she isnt thinking the same as me, that she isnt going through hell, because of her own thoughts, like me.
I just want to feel okay.
YOU ARE READING
My diary
RandomThis is just a book about my thoughts with some themes that a few people can relate to:) Like love, pain, and stuff I will write Trigger Warning if it is needed though, there will be some Storys with that. If you need someone to talk to or be frien...
