Counting Stars (In A Relationship With EXO Kai)

16 | We Could Have Had It All

Song recommendation - This Love by Taylor Swift.

"Tao."

I placed the phone over my ear, ready to hear 'I told you so' from my once upon a time friend. Instead a sigh came from his side. He left the group last year, and had no whatsoever contact with the members. I was hurt that he also included me in the list and banished my existence from his life. His call was unexpected yet so expected. He was like that.

"Are you alright?"

My eyes went to the couple sitting on the table. F(x) Krystal and Exo Kai. We had met once in the dorms, and since they both wanted some private time, I suggested Aroma hide out. Now it seemed like the most idiotic thing I had ever done. Because watching them. Together. It hurt.

"I'm doing fine."

"Yeah. Your voice is telling me so." Tao was still sarcastic and it made me smile. "Where are you? If you don't have any kind of project to work on, come to China."

"No. I'm preparing for a role. I signed up for a drama and there's university thing going on."

"That's cool." Tao cooed. "How... How's everyone?"

"All good." My gaze dropped when I saw Kai leaning towards Krystal. "I'll talk to you later." I hung up the call, and came downstairs, announcing my presence. "Hey." I waved awkwardly.

Krystal was very intimidating person, but when she smiled, I relaxed a bit. She and Kai stood up. While the girl shook hands with me, Kai came to hug me without a second thought. I patted his back, and glanced at Krystal to gauge her reaction, but she was staring down at her phone.

"I'm glad you could come." Jongin, No, I was going to call him Kai to forget the familiarity with him. He smiled as he moved back. "I was so sure you would ditch us."

"Well I wanted you both to spend time together." I gestured them to sit and took my seat as well. They had a dinner already and I was full too.

"We spend time together just fine." Krystal placed her phone on the table. "He miss you."

"Of course, I do." Jongin ruffled my hair and glanced at Krystal. "You are also an actor. Imagine someday in future, you both get to work with each other."

I chuckled at his enthusiasm. He definitely wanted his friend and girlfriend to have a good bond. His phone rang, and he excused himself while I turned to Krystal, thinking about some topic of conversation.

"Can I ask you something?" Krystal was the first to talk. I nodded. "Don't get offended. Please, I don't mean it any other way, but... you're so beautiful. Did... Did Jongin never like... like tried on you?"

"No." The answer was simple. Truth. Jongin never never gave me a sign. He always categorized me as a friend.

"Really?" She frowned. "I'm not an insecure person," she said with a nervous laugh. "But, when I saw you.. I actually had to pep talk to myself."

"I'm so sorry you felt that way." I felt bad now. Somewhere in my mind I resented Krystal to have what I couldn't have with Jongin. And here she was, feeling insecure over no one like me.

"Don't be sorry." Krystal glanced at Jongin who was still on the phone. "We were good friends before he asked me out."

"I have an idea." I smiled. "He used to tell me his Trainee days stories. About EXO. About his friends... As a friend, I would like to say something though. Don't... Don't hurt Jongin ever."

"Is this the moment where you'll threaten me?" She narrowed her eyes playfully.

I chuckled. "No. Just be happy and don't hurt each other." My throat started closing when I saw the lovely glance she threw in Jongin's direction. God, it hurt. "I've an early day tomorrow," I blurted out just when Jongin came back to the table. "I'll see you guys some other time."

He looked like he wanted to argue, but then closed his mouth. Krystal gave me a little wave before I walked out of the restaurant and swallowed a few gulps of air. I could breath now. Goodness. I needed to make a distance between us if I wanted to stay sane.

I saw Hana, an intern under mum and Sehun's latest obsession, walking out of the restaurant. I called her attention and she halted her steps. The girl had no idea about my connection with Exo. Or the extent of it. I had seen her once during EXO's concert in North America where she used to live before shifting here, and had to hid from her view.

"Hey." Hana chirped.

I asked her about her health and how she holding up. Like Iseul she didn't know much about my career. While Iseul was an idol (Spoiler alert - Chanyeol was head over heels in love with her) and Hana was SM's president daughter, I was no comparison to them. I only did a couple of cameos, and was only known as a model. I didn't blame them for not knowing me now, but soon they would. I was going for a second lead role now.

"You're going to do just fine." I patted her back as she got into her car. The girl wanted to open her own restaurant business, but knowing her story from Sehun, I doubted it.

When I got home, Ae-Cha was in bed already. We had separate rooms, but since I was always busy with my projects, she had made a habit to sleep by my side whenever I was there. I curled my arms around her and sighed.

"Unnie."

"You're awake?" I mumbled.

"You're going to be fine." She turned in my arms and I opened my eyes to look at her. "This pain will fade away someday."

I smiled. "Yeah. I know." Ae-Cha kissed my cheek and cuddled as she fell asleep, but I stared at her innocent face.

If I wanted, I would have told my cousin the harsh reality of falling in love. You could move on only when the other person let you. You couldn't move on when that person was always around. I won't be able to heal if I didn't distance myself from Jongin. My phone chimed and I saw a text from the one and only.

🐻 - Have a good night. I'll see you soon.

I closed my eyes. I wanted to move on. I had to. It won't be fair to him or Krystal. I didn't want to be a bad friend by rooting for their breakup. That wasn't me. Not at all. I couldn't sit with them and trust myself to not show the hurt I was feeling. This Love. It was going to ruin my life.

So I needed to step back before I could fall deeper than I already had.

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Short update because these two are making it impossible for me to write them without breaking my heart. Please leave comments and vote for the chapters if you like the story!