Bucket List- MashiKyu [A Treasure Fanfiction]

8. Warning

The next day, I'm lying on my bed, checking my phone and texting Mashiho before our schedules, when Jihoon and Hyunsuk come into the room.

"What is it?" I ask without looking at them. From across the room, Asahi gives me a look that says, "What did you do this time?"

"We need to talk to you," Jihoon says.

Sighing, I stand up and drop my phone on my bed. Asahi glances at me again before looking back at his phone. "I'll go," he says. "You guys can talk in here."

"Sahi, wait-" Hyunsuk starts, but he's already halfway out the door.

"He probably went to Jaehyuk's room," I say, craning my neck to see him walking in the direction of Jaehyuk's room.

"Junkyu," Hyunsuk says. "Do you know the honest reason why Mashiho went to the hospital?"

"No," I say, looking away from them.

"Don't lie," Jihoon cuts in.

"Jihoon-ah," Hyunsuk says.

"If you're so curious, then go ask Mashiho! I don't know!" I shout, trying to sound upset.

"He hasn't said anything to us," Jihoon says. "I know he told you something."

"He didn't!" I tell them, frustrated. "I know as much as you do about this!"

"Do you want me to call him and ask?" Hyunsuk asks me.

"Fine," I say, flopping down on the bed. "Do whatever you want."

Jihoon pulls his phone out, and I reach for mine on my bed. "Hey- wait-" I tell Jihoon. "That's my phone!"

"Oh, sorry," Jihoon says, tossing it back to me. "Shoot, I forgot mine in our room."

He leaves the room, and Hyunsuk sits down next to me on the bed. "Junkyu," he says. "I know that it might be hard for you to tell us whatever the reason is, but you can tell us, honestly."

"No," I mumble. "I don't know anything."

Maybe if I tell myself I don't know anything, I really won't know anything.

Jihoon comes back in the room, his phone buzzing with Mashiho's familiar ringtone.

"He's not picking up," Jihoon sighs.

"Just leave him alone," Hyunsuk says, grabbing Jihoon's hand and pulling him out of the room.

"If you find anything out, make sure to tell us!" Jihoon shouts on his way out of my room.

I pick my phone up again and turn it on. There's nothing on the home screen that betrays my feelings for Mashiho- my wallpaper is a photo of Treasure, and all my photos with him are in the shared album.

But if you unlock my phone... well, it's a different story.

On the home screen, I set one of our photos from the Lotte World trip, and I have the album in an open tab.

I text Mashiho to make sure he's okay, and if he crossed off the hike and Lotte World from the bucket list.

To Mashi <3 [sent at 6:13 am]:

did u cross the stuff off the bucket list

His reply comes a minute later.

From Mashi <3 [sent at 6:14 am]:

no will do rn

I try hard, and fail, not to smile. Even the most "insignificant" things with him make me so, extraordinarily happy. We didn't have a great comeback, but that feels like old news by now. He's worth so much more than that to me.

Unfortunately, there's always a setback to complete joy. The worry of getting caught in a relationship, a gay relationship no less, with a terminally ill member of our group, still haunts me. Just thinking about all the downsides of our relationship dampens my mood. I can push those thoughts out of the way, and boy do I try.

But I can't deny my heart. I know that deep down, I'm willing to risk my own future to be with him. I don't want the heart-racing, joy-inducing moments to end.

Although I would've never planned on kissing him.

Sometimes things just happen.

Before I knew it, I was standing outside in the cold, snow falling around me, and then he came out of nowhere with my coat. And we watched the snow together. It wasn't even the first snow, not even remotely close. It could've been the last- it was already springtime.
And impulsively, I leaned down to kiss him. And of course, he kissed ba-

"Junkyu!" someone shouts from the living room.

"Coming!" I yell, setting my phone down gently on the bed.

"Mashi sent a message to the group chat!" Hyunsuk's voice yells.

I open the Messages App on my phone and find the message Mashiho sent to the Treasure group chat.

From Mashi <3 to the Treasure Group Chat [sent at 6:28 am]:

hey guys! ik i havent been online much, but i just wanted to tell you guys about why im in the hospital. so over the past comeback and before that, ive been struggling with mental health issues and anxiety, and i havent been feeling good in general, so i decided to go to the hospital, and they told me to take some time off and just relax

I know he's lying, but I also know the other members will completely buy it. If it was anyone else, we might be a little doubtful, but I know everyone trusts Mashiho.

It breaks my heart to know I'm the only one who knows the truth.

Jihoon replies to his message, asking about why I'm always at the hospital.

Mashiho writes back, saying that the anxiety lessens a little when he's around me, since we're so close.

Again, I know everyone else will believe his message, because they trust him.

Knowing that people are making things up, but also knowing that it might be for the best, is truly a sad thing to see.

Someday, when I have to tell everyone the truth about Mashiho, with his terminal illness, I know I'll have to break their hearts.

I can only hope that day won't come. But for that to happen, there are only two possibilities.

For Mashiho to tell them himself, which I won't bet on happening.
Or for me to continue lying.

Which I really don't want to do.