My Secret Shadow

3

I went to the concert with Maddy and Drake, and I had no issues. I was proud of myself, I was happy that Drake had thought of me and done this. I was happy I got to make memories with my best friend. I was happy I didn't see the damn shadow, the one haunting my dreams and my side vision, and the dark corners. I was happy.

Was.

When returning to our homes at 3 in the morning it showed up again, but this time I ignored it. I stormed past it, not shutting my eyes or turning my head. I kept in my straight line, passing by the corner. I went to bed without seeing it again. Until another dream.

I'm in the same white room. I tell myself to stay calm, to close my eyes, and not listen. I sit against the end of the white it took some running to get to. I hear my name called from the distance.  I ignore it. It gets closer, and deeper, I want to look at it, I want to know what's calling me.

"Damien, come on out," the voice sings, it sounds light and friendly. "Come on, it'll be fun."

I open my eyes but don't raise my head, the voice makes me shiver, out of fear and wonder. I start to lift my head, but something covers my eyes.

"Don't look at it, Damien," my shadow, it's coving my eyes. I feel numb, no longer getting drawn to the voice. "That's right, listen to me, Damien. Don't listen to it, it will hurt you. I don't want to see you hurt."

I can hear yelling in the background, but all I can focus on is this... warmth coming from the shadow. Shadows don't feel warm, they feel cold. And I sink into the voice, it no longer scares me, it's less deteriorated than before.

"DAMIEN! LISTEN TO ME! DAMN YOU!" I can hear the voice from before shouting, it startled me.

I feel an arm wrap around my back, my eyes still covered by the shadow's hand.

"Shh, it's okay Damien. Don't listen to it. It is a monster, it just wants to hurt you. I promise to protect you from it. Just listen to me, pay attention to my voice."

I still hear the screaming in the back, but I block it out and focus on my breaths and the shadow's calmness.  I don't want to listen to anything else but the shadow soothing me to fall back asleep.

"Everything will be okay, go back to sleep, Damien. Everything is okay."

-

The next day I dream, it's not in a white room anymore, it's in a forest. I need to start a journal of all these dreams. I find a tree and crouch next to it, I just want this dream to be over with. I sit and close my eyes.

"Hi, Damien."

I don't respond, just keep my eyes closed. I want to sleep.

"You can't sleep right now, sadly. I wish you could, but you can't. You can't until it shows up."

What does that mean? Do I believe it? Do I respond? Do I keep my eyes closed? What is it? What is this shadow? Why does the shadow have a voice? Why can I touch it? Why can it feel warm? Why am I having this? Why am I cursed?

I keep my eyes closed, and scoot closer to the tree.

"I'm sorry, I know I cause you discomfort," It pauses. "You know you can talk to me, ill answer anything you want."

I remain quiet, trying desperately to sleep.

"I told you it won't work," the shadow sits next to me.

"Shut up!" I shout, opening my eyes and raising my head slightly. I still don't look at it.

It remains quiet, not moving, just still. I close my eyes again, laying my head back in my arms. after a few minutes, my name is getting called from behind another tree.

"Go to sleep now if you want out."

I keep my head down.

My name being called gets louder like it's getting closer. I open my eyes to see a small ray of light, then before I  know it that light is gone. My instinct was to look up, but all I see is a raven-black body in front of me. The shadow.

"Go to sleep now Damien," It says, and it's now I realize it's not talking. It sounds like static, but I can understand it. "Good god, please go to sleep."

My name gets called louder, in an enraged tone.

I close my eyes, lowering my head back into my arms. These are fucked dreams, why am I always the one condemned with this bizarre shit?

"Damien! Listen to me!"

My brain starts to ache, and my eyes and jaw tense. I just want these dreams to end. I focus on my breathing, pleating into myself better, rocking back and forth. I did that as a kid to fall asleep faster Drake said when mom passed and dad picked up more hours, he would rock me to sleep. Now it is just a comfort thing.

I feel a weight fall on top of me, it's light, like a hug. I accept the hug and feel at peace. The voice drifts away and I lay back against the tree, the hug tightens, and I ease. Tiredness eventually flushes over me. I feel it in my bones and in my blood.

"Why am I cursed?" The shadow lays my back against the tree bark, I notice the sky glows around the shadow.

"You're not, I promise you're not. I'm here to help, I'll always be here to help you."

"Why? Who?" My words come out whispered, my eyes weight thousands, I can't stay awake forever.

"I'm here to keep you safe, Damien. Don't worry anymore, just rest for right now. I'll always come back for you, to protect you."

"I want to know more," I cant keep my eyes open anymore.

"Go to sleep, its okay. I'll see you soon, Damien. Good night."

When I awake I am curled around myself, a stuffed animal under my head and my weighted blanket neatly covering my warm body. I remember the shadow, the forest, the tree, and the sky. A beautiful starry night, the pale yellow moon, the warmth of the shadow. The comfort, a comfort I haven't felt since my mother passed.

I stretch, yawn, and turn onto my back. I want to know more about the shadow.