Then it happened

Chapter 11

I left that house. For good. They no longer called me a part of their family. And I was perfectly ok with that. I still loved my Mom, my sisters and brothers, and I missed them, yes. God did I miss them. But I could never go back. Not this time.

Christmas came, Christmas left. But it was the best Christmas I'd had in forever. Living with my Dad, Kansas, Riley, Alex, it was like a dream. I was finally in a place where I was understood. Cared about simply because I existed, not because they needed a free nanny.

I don't remember much from those months. They felt almost too good to be true. But I remember one thing very vividly.

~~~~~~~

"Good?" My father asked. I nodded my head as my mouth was a little full- he'd taken me out for ice cream. "Good. Do you like Grace?" He asked. I froze, quickly swallowed my bite. "I'm sorry, what?" I could feel my body heating up and started on my cold treat again to try and lower my temperature. "Do you like Grace? Like- like like her?" I paused again. "What? No- why do you ask?" I said looking him in the eyes, hoping he'd believe the act I was throwing out. "I just heard it from someone.." my father started. "Who??" I interrupted. "It doesn't matter."

Then the conversation was over. As soon as we got home, I rushed downstairs and texted Grace.

Me: Hey I need to talk to you.
Grace: Right now?
Me: Yes. Facetime?
Grace: Sure

"What is it?" Grace asked after she answered the phone. "Well- I- um...." I tried to get the words out but they wouldn't come. I stood up nervously, and walked around my room trying to breathe, and sat back down. "I think I have a crush on you." I said finally, and Grace smiled. "I know." She said, however it didn't register at first. "Now I can understand why you wouldn't want to be friends, but I really want to stay- wait what?" I said, starting to defend myself before what she said clicked. "I know. I've known for a while now." My mouth dropped open. "Are you being serious?? Is it really that obvious??" Grace smirked. "No. Not really, but I read people. I knew."

~~~~~~~
That memory is burned into my brain and probably will be forever. I remember growing closer with Grace, I remember her first birthday with us being friends. Her mom made an apple pie, which is her favorite. We'd joke around and call it WAP- Warm Apple Pie.

And probably also more than anything I remember the weekend I left.

~~~~~~~

I was sitting on the couch, playing on my phone when all of a sudden the front door swung open. "I'M HOOME-" I heard, and I immediately jumped up with a smile on my face. "Grace!!" I said, but about two seconds later I was tackled back onto the couch by the newcomer. "Oh thats a new type of greeting!" I said laughing as we rolled over and eventually sat up. "Are you going to do that every time you see me now?" Grace shrugged, smiling. "Probably."

We went on a walk, Graces mom went and got her friend and they hung out for a while. Then it was time for her to take the friend back home, and Grace was forced to go with her. But a minute after they went out the door, my father and Kansas started fighting in the yard. My father was yelling at her, and I could barely watch. After half an hour, Kansas came back inside sobbing.

"What the hell did he do?!" I asked angrily. "All the same stuff and then he walked away, he said it was because he didn't want to hit me and if he stayed he would have."

I breathed in. What. The. Fuck.

It was supposed to be different with Father. All of this was supposed to end. But I guess nevermind.

I called my grandmother, hell, I didn't know what else to do. She answered just as Grace and her mom pulled into the driveway, and as I was outside, Grace saw me.

"H-hey Namaw," I started, my voice breaking a little bit. Grace looked at me with a concerned expression and walked by me into the house. I tried to explain what was going on, "Its Dad. He's going crazy..." And Grace came back outside. She came right up to me, and just hugged me as slowly tears began to form in my eyes. She pulled away, and I was still talking to my grandparents.

A couple minutes passed and Grace interrupted my pacing, as I'd been pacing the driveway, guiding me into the street for a walk.

"Listen, sweetheart, me and Papa need to talk about something we'll call you back later." My grandma said, and we hung up.

I looked at Grace, and she seemed worried, angry, all of the above. "Are you ok?" I asked. "Am I ok?? No bitch, how about are YOU ok?" She retorted, and I had no choice but to laugh. "Don't you already know the answer to that?" I replied. "Yeah. Oh my god- when I walked into the house Riley just hugged me and I thought he'd hit you or Kansas-" she angrily kicked a rock. "I'm ok Grace. I'm just angry."

Grace took a breath. "Yeah, y'know what-" she started, but I interrupted her. "I'm so fucking angry!! All this bullshit was supposed to be fixed when I moved in with Father!! But now it's all coming back. All of it. Violence follows me like a disease." I started to walk faster, almost running by how fast I was walking, as the anger fueled my steps. I continued to talk, or tried to.

"Slow down." Grace ordered, I was walking a little too fast and she wanted me to calm down. "No- fine." I muttered, slowing down and glaring at the street under my feet. "I swear if he hit you I'd do something. Something bad. Fucking pisses me off man," she said as she began to speed up.

"Slow down Grace." It was my turn. "No!" She scoffed and continued to walk at the heightened pace. I rolled my eyes, put my hand on her shoulder and pulled her back. "Listen, slow down ok? If I have to so do you." Grace looked at me, finally slowing down. "Ok. Fine." She sighed, and we continued to walk, but we headed back to the house.

When we got back to the yard, we went around back. I sat on one of the swings, I tried to joke around and have fun with the others, but it just wouldn't work. I couldn't speak or form a sentence. So I looked off into the distance and tried to think of anything, anything but this situation. My mind had different ideas however, it was all I could think about.

Hours passed by, and it was dark outside, when dinner was ready. I went inside, I had every intention of not eating. I had no appetite, I felt sick even smelling the food. But I noticed tears form in Kansas's eyes, and I walked over. "Hey- is it still my dad?" She wouldn't look at me. "You have to move out and in with your grandparents."

I stumbled back, shocked. "What?" This wasn't supposed to happen. NONE OF THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! This was so unfair. I'd finally found a family who loved me for me and now I'm just ripped away from them. My eyes filled with tears, and I tried to run upstairs to be alone so no one would see me cry. Graces Mom was in my way, and she pulled me into a hug. "Oh come on don't cry- you kids are my weakness!!" She exclaimed, but I didn't answer. I tore away from her embrace, and ran as fast as I could up the stairs.

I sat on my bed, pulled my knees up, and just cried. I heard the door creak open, and Grace and Riley came in. They didn't say a word, Grace walked over, sat on my bed next to me, and just pulled me in so I could cry in her chest. Riley sat behind me, and started awkwardly stocking my arm in an attempt to comfort me.

~~~~~~~~

Those are my two most vivid memories from my life there, both were nerve-racking. I wish I had more stories, because honestly those were the best months of my entire life. Some of them at least. But I don't, because I was too happy to have those memories burned into my brain. But just know, I used to be happy.